Lately I have been running around researching everything possible about food storage: The 72 hour emergency kits, the 1 month rations for extended emergencies, the one year stash for times of economic troubles, and the long term food storage of 7 years with a shelf life expectancy of 30 years for the food.
This is very stressful for me. I worry everyday over a new disaster and am almost met with one. Recently it has been Japan. I think I needed it to kick me in the butt to try and get in gear for my family. Stress is a warning sure, but too much... I am losing weight already.
I haven't figured how to stop stressing just yet. Now that I've finally made the decision to start a reserve food stash, I am finding things that stress me out even further. My husband is on the fence with his job; a few too many tardies to explain exactly. I know it has been my fault with the surgeries I've been undergoing, the ones I still need, the miscarriage recently, and the all over constant ill feeling of my body. He has tended to me as an angel of mercy. And now is suffering at work because of it.
I pray for help. I pray for prosperity even in these times. I am currently praying for extra prosperity and the understanding of my husband and his work on all things so we may end up with the financial reserve for this mass food piling I've wanted to start for years. I feel overwhelmed, unprepared, and inadequate for the task before me. Yet I feel very strongly that it is a task put upon my shoulders, not anyone else's.
Oh where do I begin then?
I have literally searched thousands of websites that promise the least expensive pricing for the most expensive tastes. I see pricing from 1k-12k depending on variety and trademark. I see the backpack I want for the 72 hour kit tagged with the most expensive price, and not boasting all that the $100 cheaper one has. My head is going to explode with the migraine tonight and I fell apart crying.
I also cannot ignore the persistent idea that if I could just get my book published... oh so much there.
I know my books would be snatched off the shelves, leading to much money in my pocket, and finally I'd have the food reservoir I desire.
Not just stopping there...
No, I'd have the home with which to put it, financial stability for years to come, help with bills stacked up around here, school loans paid off, credit obliterated. SO very much more if/when, for I must believe that one day I will aspire to that which I desperately desire.
I mist and tear up worrying about the future. My mind ever wandering I find myself on the natural disasters foretold to come. I believe they may be sooner than we all think, than we all want. I know many of us will survive such disasters, but I know economic stability will be a dream none of us will be able to ever see again as well. I stress on the inside until the river in my eyes decides to over run her banks. That is tonight and I vent here.
I am comforted to know my Heavenly Father loves me. He will protect me as he sees fit. I do know that a speedy trip to His loving arms is sometimes how he 'protects' His saints. I wish to better myself before thrust into the guilt waiting for me after this life ends. Thus I search out food storage and water purification sites.
Heaven help us all when the last of the earth's tremblings come. They will be together and calamitous to say the least. I am barely ready for the fewer sporadic ones preceding it all.
Prayers help. The Spirit is strong when I read my scriptures. I have hope, that is why I research these life-prolonging techniques commanded of me and my church. I am glad I have gotten to, however precariously, know my God. I will be improving our relationship with fervor hopefully until the end of the life He has granted me. "Now is the time to prepare" has so many different meanings and I endeavor to accomplish 'prepared' in all its forms.
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