Aspiring Author

Chapter One

2011-10-04T12:41:00.000-07:00

I am doing this. I wasn't going to, but I decided I needed outside help. I know many of you have been hoping I would do this, and those of you who had no idea I'd written anything, let alone a few novels, I am happy to present this to both of you. I am trying for the bravery I've lacked in the past, and this is the first public viewing of the first Chapter of this novel.

This is also the first novel I am actually seeking publication for. Please allow me to whet your taste buds with this small morsel of what I believe is a delicious book. Let me know what you think. Thanks!

Jewel Discovered
Whispers of things that were: Chapter One Prologue

I was running faster than I had ever remembered running before, my legs working in marvelous ways as they stretched long over the blackened, smoky ground. It was exhilarating, freeing. I was close to flying. If one could move fast in space, this is how I imagined it would be: every long leap barely touching the scarred earth, and then rebounding with lithe, effortless ease across the vast valley floor.

I was dreaming.

However, this dream wasn’t my usual sort.

For the last few months increasing, I was immersed in a world, a time, far different from the one I lived in, and for this short period each night I lived in these ‘real dreams’ and was another person.

Real dreams were as draining as they were invigorating though. Everything here felt too real. The inky black sky above me, the cracked ground beneath every step, the smell of the burnt earth, the literal heavy feel of my pursuers, the bundle in my arms, and the steady thrumming of my scared and sprinting heartbeat; I wasn’t running for leisure, I was running for my life.

Our lives, I reminded myself of the life I held in my arms. The secret I had to share was vitally important and the reason I was here, but not many knew I was returning with company as well. Cut off from their world for so long I wondered for a moment if they would understand my choice and actions.

I dared to take a chance and look down at the wad of cloth pressed tight to me. If I didn’t make it all life everywhere in both worlds was doomed. Saving his life might prove futile in the end, but I would make the same decision again if I had to.

The importance of the mission rang full in my head, and my sprinting leaps grew further apart and quicker. The fabric in my arms moved a little.

“Soon,” I cooed in a soft voice with the tenor of a multi-chorded choir complete with underlying harmonies. I always spoke like this in real dreams. “We draw close.” Knowing how his mind was clearer in this other form I knew he understood and wanted the same. Kuiquart’s evil spell couldn’t hold all of him in this form. That knowledge gave me such joy. Someday we would find a way to remove the full spell in the true form. We must!

I blinked away the tear and looked into the distance feeling much too far from the portal I was risking lives to reach. A moonless cloudy night shrouded the barren landscape, but it didn’t matter, I could see in the dark. Invisible to those not of my kind, the portal to me looked like a glowing blue window floating an inch above the plains. It stood firm, like a war flag in declaration of the good that it stood for. Instead of wind fluttering its tendrils, the surface rippled gently from the evil magic pressing against it, though not quite touching. The portal was pure good magic from an ancient source and I knew that dark magic on its own could not touch it, just try to. It was my encourager this dark night as I sprinted to save us all.

Barely minutes into this dream, I halted in my leap and stifled the scream that rose in my throat. My leg burned with the pain of a thousand fires: One of their curses had hit me! The protection spell had been compromised and my bundle and I were now on our own. My stumble was hazardous, but I managed to catch myself. I threw another, smaller ward behind me for a moment and frantically checked the blanket. My bundle was unharmed.

Not allowing myself to dwell, I rose on the injured leg not daring to look how fast the acid was working. I was alarmed to notice that I couldn’t make the limb work well enough. Touching the magic reservoir on my necklace I drew in all the warmth that signified ancient magic being done that I could muster. It worked. I was able to stand on the leg now.

Lunging forward with renewed and borrowed vigor, the thought I must not fail! rang through my fevered mind. I absently remembered to stop the smaller ward that protected our rearward and used the energy to boost myself along faster. Flight would serve me better at this point.

The screams and yells finally hit my finely tuned ears with stifling alarm. They were too close!

“Please help me young one,” I whispered, trying to stifle my panic. They should not be this close! “I cannot do this alone.” I reached into the blanket and touched the child’s palm with my finger, never halting my sprint. Warmth enveloped me and we flew faster.

“Thank you,” I murmured in sincere gratitude. We were almost there.

The cursed ground seemed to stretch out longer at that moment, as if to taunt me and the quest I was on. My breathing became sparse, something that rarely happened to my dream-kind. I knew that I needed to get there sooner rather than later.

The Pain!

The scream from such torture erupted from my mouth as I was unable to keep it in this time. My back felt as if I had been lashed with a million cords complete with iron thorns, while the sheer force of the hit sent me crashing to my knees. Gasping hungrily at the air I suddenly couldn’t get enough of I thrust a hand out to catch us from face planting ourselves in the burnt earth. No! I screamed mutely, the air to produce such a scream absent in the pain, and my tears scorched my windswept face with their own indifference. No!

My watering eyes landed on the glowing vortex. Though my pursuers chose to wield evil, they themselves could use it as easily as a wielder of light. The single use portal had been erected for me and my purpose with extreme sacrifice and I grieved thinking that now any number of the party behind me could surprise those on the other side in a massacre of innocents. I couldn’t even shut it down if I wanted to. Such magic required was beyond anything I had at my immediate expense. The sinking feeling in my stomach accompanied my swimming head and my vision went fuzzy.

My breath caught in my sob as something warm swept through my pain wracked body. Then everything was different: My back no longer seared with such fire, my leg was lithely aware of the pain instead of drowning in it, my vision sharpened, and my mind was a thousand times clearer.

But how?

I knew before I asked. Outside magic had just been done; for me.
As much as that confused me with where I was and those behind me, I immediately went about assessing my half-healed injuries.

The pain could be managed if I made the effort. Then twenty long leaps would land us with enough speed to jump through the portal before my pursuers use it and it disappears with them forever halting all our efforts.

My sharp ears picked up individual shouts now; I needed to move.

I rose, faltering only slightly and shaking a bit. Then I leapt once, twice, mustered more, and then stopped counting, looking steadily at my goal with each jump. It felt further away than I had assumed and I began to lose confidence. I am not a quitter, I reminded myself; that is why I was chosen. I am the perfect one for this task.

Another involuntarily scream as the second ball of magic hit my left hip. Tears rolled down my cheeks, but I leapt again. My ankle on my opposite leg was hit and I heard shouts of exclamation. I leapt once more.

My scalp seared. I smelled burnt hair and flesh, and I couldn’t even pretend anymore. This was it. The end had come. My body burned with the pain and my head became disoriented. I tried with all I could muster on this one last leap.

My head was hit again and my eyes blackened. I was blind now. Hot wind rushed and I felt sure they were descending upon me. I hadn’t made it, and they had come to collect their trophy.

“I am sorry I have failed you,” I cried, singing melodically through my pain into the blankets. “I have failed us all!” I kissed my son.

Then I lost the ability to speak and hear. With my senses taken from me, all I knew was my pain and the despair of all I’d failed to do. I waited for the final death with overwhelming sorrow at my having failed so completely.

~

I woke up hot and sticky. The Arizonan nights usually didn’t reach me in here with the AC running constantly; though I was sure it wasn’t the heat that made my heart grieve in panicked mourning.

My eyes opened with blurry vision towards the ceiling where, etched in filigreed detail, were the letters ‘J U L I A’ lighted by the street lamp leaking through the window. I mulled over what this last dream could possibly mean. My dreams usually weren’t so vivid, or insane. Death was far beyond anything I had ever dreamt before. It was sad and scary… and very, very real.

I shivered roughly, knowing it had nothing to do with the temperature in my room. I threw off the blanket and turned over to my side wishing beyond anything I knew that I could have helped her, my alter ego, make it through that portal. It seemed vitally important, despite my knowledge that it was just a dream.

“Genevieve.” The name was whispered shakily to my pillow for her, and I was asleep again before I closed my eyes.

~

My face was pressed into the scorched earth and I tasted burnt dirt and sulfur. The pain was excruciating as I waited to experience the leaving my kind went through when life left our mortal bodies.

Far away I heard my pursuers give a great cheer at finally thwarting me. By the sounds of the ruckus they were still quite a distance behind me. My heart lurched to think they were right: This was the end-I had failed all life everywhere.

~

I knew it was a dream, but for a moment I separated myself from the disfigured creature on the ground with her bundle.

My alter ego was a stunningly beautiful, tall creature with almost white-blonde hair, gray eyes, and long pointed ears; though the human term ‘elvin’ was an affront to these creatures’ true character and identity. Her deformed figure at present spoke nothing of the beauty she could be, and Genevieve lay dying on the burnt earth, her wounds grievous and awful.

I collapsed to her side and started crying for her; for the other me. Tears stinging my face, I grieved with her and all we stood to lose.

We- This world was now as much mine as hers. I knew that if she could just make it to the portal there were people on the other side that could save her. I wished it with all my being that she could somehow find the strength to make it. Anything that could help… I was desperate.

The chilled night seemed to evaporate just then and I was very warm. Then the woman on the ground glowed a pretty red color and I watched as half of her wounds healed in an instant. Not daring to ask how I gasped happily at what it meant: She would make it now!

Placing a hand on her shimmering gold hair I whispered “Hurry!”, and though I had spoken as loud as I could it was barely a whisper on the stark wind blown plains around us.

Genevieve’s clear gray eyes lit with renewed life.

Then I was her again.

~

Suddenly I felt powerful warmth. Ancient magical warmth, the magic was far superior to anything I had ever experienced in all my long life. Again it was not coming from me. It was coming from that outside source, though now I realized it was far away and nothing like I had ever known before. It felt like pure love wrapped in honest compassion and true benevolence. It was the most powerful, heart-warming feeling I could ever have imagined. It gave me strength and hope and…

I pushed myself to my knees, surprised to be able to do that knowing all I had just gone through, but seeing as it did not cause me more pain, I stood up next. Amazement struck me again.

The sight of my mutilated body made me cringe. My hip and back of the calf were missing entirely, and I’m sure there was a hole in my back as the acid ate its way into my chest cavity.

I stopped assessing my body and gathered my bundle to resume my flight. Sprinting as fast as I could, I decided not to ask why or how. I was on a mission.

The warmth faded as outside joy took its place. An entity or something was looking after me.

Then I knew. I was surprised I hadn’t caught on before as it was so glaringly obvious: HE was peeking again.

I smiled. He had looked backwards through time and space to save me for this one last leap. It had cost him a lot, and I knew it as I felt his energy falter. Magic backwards through time always left him weak for days, and this was more serious than anything he had attempted before.

“Your efforts shall not be wasted,” I promised him.

I started the last few flings forward. So close, I leapt with a smile at all the strength I knew I shouldn’t have.

There was a sizzling sound and I gasped as every wound screamed with fierce pain, the sounds of my pursuers were on top of me. Then my sight left me. I pushed onward and managed several more leaps before I felt my body crumple.

Wind colder and stronger than the hot gales of the feverish night rushed past my skin.

“NO!!!” No I cannot have failed again! Not after everything the chosen one had just spent on me! Not after all that had been done by others to secure this mission’s success!

My senses, all but sound, evaded me. I couldn’t feel the bundle in my arms, see anything around me, or taste the sulfur from the scorched grounds around me. I didn’t even notice when I hit the ground. All I knew was the immense pain. There was nothing but the pain everywhere, both the physical and that of failing so terribly. In my crazed state I was able to wonder how many times a person could almost die in one night.

Somehow I drew breath.

And my world paused for an instant as I realized there was something terribly wrong with the air I just took in.

The stench from the fire plains weren’t missing because my sense of smell was taken from me I realized with alarm, they were simply different now. The sharp sulfur smells and rancid putrid scent of burnt carcasses no longer attended the smell of charred earth. Instead, there was honeysuckle, mint leaves, orchids, strawberries, the smell of salt water and pine trees wafting over my nose.

Oh no! Where had they taken me?!

I tried to calm myself remembering that I was prepared for torture, I could handle this, and they would heal me first. I cringed once at thinking of reliving these pains over and over again, but I was brave. I would endure.

My heart ached for the life I had just re-condemned in my arms, another regret at failing.

“Oh, by the light!” Someone exclaimed in a singing voice very much like my dream one.

Other exclamations and loud sounds of joyous decrees echoed as my mind drifted. It made no sense, I expected shrieks and curses and manic reveling… this was… relieved happiness?

“Could it be?” The first voice asked, marveling. It was male, and sang as wonderfully as mine did.

“No, there wasn’t a chance,” mumbled a stunned deep throaty voice very different from our songs. I knew he was an inhuman.

“Quickly begin the healing!” urged yet another.

Immediately following I felt magical warmth ebb through my pained body. My mind started to clear as I tried to understand what was going on.

“Who is that with her?” someone whispered; another inhuman, female this time.

There was some shifting around me, and I noticed my arms were being pulled apart. All that was in me made me tighten them. I believed I was safe now, but I wasn’t ready to give him up yet.

“Do you feel that?” whispered the inhuman woman, her voice cautious and wary. “Bad magic is in this child.”

Murmurs met my elongated ears. I tried to tell them, to explain, to assure them of his innocence in this state. No sound came from me.

“She is very protective of him,” surmised a young maiden’s song voice. I knew she was using her powers to read my emotions. I flooded all I was with gratitude for that assessment.

“Feel that? He is someone very important.” The singing voice was starting to get excited. I thought I recognized her.

Oh my darling daughter-in-law, I have so much to tell you, I thought warmly.

“He’s cursed,” someone seemed to decide. “Perhaps she means us to help him.”

“I wonder if we know him.”

“She does, so we must. She would never protect one of his like this.”

I tried not to cringe with guilt.

There was silence for half a minute.

Then, “I am assuming that this is the altered form of Barkley,” said a proud melodic voice with obvious admiration and awe.

The talking started mixing together at that point as everyone everywhere started giving off their own sounds of exclamation.

I smiled as I slipped into unconsciousness with the peaceful knowledge that I had done it. We were safe, and I would soon tell them all they needed to know.

~

With relief at the happy ending and completely exhausted from such an emotional and exciting dream I slept until noon the next day. It was dreamless oblivion and happy peace to know my dream-alter-ego was safe among friends again.

Several hours later, I walked down the stairs to the kitchen feeling exhausted. This last dream was still resounding in my head with all the passion I’d felt while dreaming it.

“Hey sleepy-head,” called a voice when I stepped around the kitchenette’s corner. “Sleep long did we?”

After sitting at the small table, my eyes found the blurry face of my cousin/guardian. “A bit,” I mumbled with a slow blink. My eyelids hit the crust in my eyes like rough sand and my fists flew to them without thinking.

Carey’s face cleared up when I glanced back. She’d been studying me while I came in and now her eyes grew to understanding.

“You’ve had another dream,” she announced. She picked up the two bowls of oatmeal she’d been making and brought them to the table.

I accepted the one meant for me with a nod. “Yeah. Genevieve was back.” I didn’t stop the enveloping yawn.

“Did she manage to escape?” Carey asked, her eyes wide and worried.
Before I could answer there was a knock at the front door.

“That’d be Mrs. Welks,” Carey said quickly and hurried to the front room to answer the door.

My kind neighbor practically lived here or us at her place. Family came in all shapes and sizes, and she was as much ours as any real grandmother.

I heard her chuckle from where I was. “I smell oatmeal,” echoed her voice from the front hall with amusement. “Carey’s day to cook? I thought for sure it was Julia’s.”
“She just woke up actually,” Carey said with heavy implication on each of her words.

Mrs. Welks was not a slow woman and even now she understood. “Ahhhh.”
Both entered the kitchen with knowing and eager expressions.

Mrs. Welks’s face immediately melted. “My child, are you well?” she asked, with a look of concern. She walked towards the table with grace that baffled me for a woman of her age.

I gave her a smile. “I am tired,” I admitted. I yawned again.
Her hand fluttered to my forehead where it hesitated then promptly fell. She looked frustrated about something.

“I’ll be fine,” I promised.

An eyebrow rose.

“The oatmeal cools fast,” I said, offering my bowl.

Mrs. Welks frowned with a silent scold. “You should eat it this time. You look as if you really need it.” And with pursed lips she refused, seating herself across the table, her arms folded.

I sighed at the lumpy stuff as I set it back in front of me.

Carey chuckled, and crossed back to the stove. “We have plenty.”
Soon another bowl was set before Mrs. Welks.

“We have toast and juice as well,” she volunteered, placing a plate piled high with the first next to a pitcher filled with orange juice.

I reached for them to a silent chorus of rolling eyes from them both. They followed my lead slower with shaking heads.

“So,” Mrs. Welks started as soon as we’d settled. “Why am I having breakfast twice on Julia’s cooking day?” She put her laden spoon in her mouth with raised brows.

“Cause Carey has an unhealthy infatuation with horse food,” I mumbled, letting the hint of a teasing smile escape in my complaint.

My cousin gave a heavy sigh. “I thought for sure if I used blackberries you’d finally like it,” she said to her bowl.

I winced. Irritability and fatigue aside, I could be much nicer to the person who adopted me when I was orphaned. “It’s not that bad today,” I said, trying to placate. Then lifting my spoon I took a large bite.

It worked, she stopped looking forlorn.

“Tell us now,” she said, leaning forward with a hopeful expression.

I grinned, sharing her enthusiasm.

It took a while to retell the dream, but neither one seemed upset about that. Stories were our real food here.

Carey sighed with her chin propped up and elbows on the table after I’d finished. “That was so… wow,” she said to the air between us. “I love the magical benefactor part. You have such a vivid imagination Julia.” There was a wistful look on her face and I knew she was in her own world.

I nodded in silent agreement.

I noticed our neighbor’s eyes were wet. They usually were with these retellings of mine. I just figured she really enjoyed them since there was always the wisp of a smile accompanying the tears.

“This is it though,” I said after a few minutes. “I don’t think I’m going to dream of them again.” The escaping sigh was deep and slow.

Across the table Mrs. Welks lowered her eyes, almost as though she were giving a moment of silence.

Huh, I hadn’t realized the stories meant so much to her.

Carey took a little longer to react.
“Wait, -what?” she asked. “What do you mean?” Her puzzled expression gave way to a please-tell-me-you’re-kidding one.

“I’m not sure exactly, but I think they’re done telling me their story. I don’t know; it’s just a feeling I can’t seem to shake.” I couldn’t explain the feeling, but it was as tangible as the toast I was holding. I bit into it.

“But… no more?” Carey asked, her face looking as if she had just heard of the passing of a very dear friend.

I understood her mood.

“That’s too bad,” said Carey; the sadness for no more stories thick in her voice. She stared at her hot cereal.

I agreed. Genevieve’s adventures were thrilling, fun, and nothing like our drab reality. I loved dreaming about the children of the light and all the kindness they held. Half a year now and I was more than enthralled with them, I’d become a part of them.

Out of the corner of my eye I watched Mrs. Welks put her mug down on the table. My eyes flew to her movement on their own only to find a very sad look etching her features. We would all miss these stories, but I wondered at the determination accompanying her look.

Her eyes seemed to float up subconsciously, and met mine. I smiled softly at her. She looked back with stern interest. It took me a moment to realize that she probably didn’t see me after all. A contemplative silence lined her features, and perhaps her stare was a little too intense.

She’s planning something for later in the day, I decided, and not really seeing me as she appears to be.

I broke my eyes away to find my cousin playing with her oatmeal as if it were zen sand beneath her raking spoon.

“I can’t believe they’re over,” she said again.

I reached over to pat her hand. My cousin was always more prone to the emotional side of things than I was, but this time I felt as depressed and sad as her.

Just then Mrs. Welks stood up. It was one abrupt sudden movement that blurred from sitting to standing, as if she just suddenly was standing.

Carey and I turned to her simultaneous.

Just as I was wondering if I’d actually seen what I thought I’d just seen Mrs. Welks grabbed our wrists in a tight grasp. Then a whisper of a word I didn’t understand sang through the air.

I sucked in my breath as my body seemed to be pressed with an unseen force. My head then started swimming as a warm, thick, invisible cloud engulfed me.
Horrified to find that I couldn’t move, I tried to lift a finger, to twitch, speak; to do anything! Nothing happened. What is going on?! What’s happening?

A gasp sounded across the table and my eyes, the only thing able to move, flew to my cousin with worry for her. I found her staring at Mrs. Welks in wide-eyed shock and confusion.

She’s feeling the same thing as me, I decided. But what is this? Why can’t we move? Why does my head feel as if I’m entering a heavy fog?

I forced my eyes back to Mrs. Welks with hurt wonder. She is why we’re feeling like this… but why? How? What does she want? It didn’t make sense that this was happening, or that our kindly neighbor should even have anything to do with it. Was I still dreaming then?

No; this felt way too real!

“You will not remember these dreams until the knowledge is needed my children,” sang the haunting, yet soothing voice of our neighbor. “Life will continue as it has for the last three years and you will be happy.”

I gasped at the familiar musical tones. I’ve dreamt of such tones for six months! They were soothing, soft beautiful and seemed to speak to my soul instead of my ears.

Mrs. Welks nodded in my direction. “Yes Julia.” She smiled a sad, sweet smile. “I know more about these people than you could possibly understand my darling child.”

My eyes wouldn’t blink. All I could do was stare at her in dizzy wonderment.

“I was hoping for the burden to fall on other’s shoulders,” she continued, and her eyes turning sad. “You two have been through too much already.” She sighed, a tinkling of the song still in her voice. “Yet I know it must soon be time. I have felt it for the last few centuries.”

Centuries!? I tried to shake my head in my bewilderment. There was no way the dreams were real. Magic didn’t really exist!

Then why was I finding it hard to move and unable to speak? Maybe she drugged us and I was hallucinating. I tried to convince myself of that as my cousin and I kept watching her.

The woman looked at Carey. “When all else fails, go north my child. It is where you two need to be. You will feel this yourself, trust your instincts as you always have before. It is part of your strength.”

My cousin’s eyes were round as disks from such a statement and I knew we were wondering the same thing: What did that mean?!

Mrs. Welks’s head swiveled to me and a hand clutched my wrist with a fierceness I’d never seen on the old woman. “Be swift my child. Time draws near. Do everything in your power to choose your own love.” She stared into my eyes with nothing short of earnest desire. “They will try to make you do what they believe is right, but they are mistaken, and following any other’s advice or admonition will lead to catastrophe and the death of two worlds. You must not let that happen!”

Whatever weirdness had found me, I knew that the warning was real. But with my eyes round, I tried to ask what she meant how my falling in love would help anyone. I still could not move. My hand flipped beneath hers. It was all I could do.

Mrs. Welks saw it move. She patted my hand and I was too warm again.

“All shall be revealed the eleventh dawn after your wedding day my Darling Julia,” she added as another curtain forced me into more dazed immobility.

If I could have choked at that last part! I’m sixteen! I’m not getting married! I wanted to yell it, scream it! Nothing came out and my attempt made me dizzier and numb all at the same time.

“Married?” gasped a sheet-white Carey on the brim of my subconscious. “She’ll barely be 17 next month!”

Exactly!

Mrs. Welks almost beamed at my cousin’s words. “You are strong,” she said with unmasked, almost jovial pleasure. “That will serve you two quite well. Never leave her side Carey, you are stronger together.”

She touched Carey’s hand now. “And please, stop trying to read your cousin with that power of yours. Her choices to deceive you are always in your behalf.” Her eyes seemed to bore into my cousin. “It is a power, dearest Carey. Never doubt that.”

Carey gasped wide eyed across the table from me, and then her face went blank.

Carey! What had she done to her?! I was angry now. If she had done anything to my sweet, sweet cousin…!

Mrs. Welks turned to me and I tried to glare; convey in any way how upset I was.

Either she didn’t see my daggers-for-eyes, or I must not have made much of a threat (honestly in this state what could I really do??) because Mrs. Welks continued with ease. “You have quite a bit to face next year, but for now….” She whispered another word I’d never heard before and I became even dizzier. “Normality,” whispered the old woman with the expression of pained sadness flooded her aged face in deep worried lines.

I had no choice but to take the admonition to continue my dreary life with easy acceptance and blind obedience as I slipped into the depths of the mind fog without the knowledge of all I’d dreamt and shared the last six months.

......................

Okay... so is this good? Have I gripped you for the rest of the book? Is any of this interesting? This is basically a paranormal love story set in Urban fantasy world. It has been finished for a few years now and I am anxious to find myself a publisher and agent. Please leave a comment, I take constructive criticism wonderfully –perhaps even giddily. (I love editing as much as writing!!!)

Thank you for taking the time to read this. :)

......................

Blurb

2011-04-16T13:09:00.000-07:00

Dark choices spawn pathways not always seen by the transgressor. Heroes that would not have needed to know their capabilities are suddenly thrust into circumstances to prove themselves.

Apparently it’s this nonhuman’s turn.

I’d run away screaming if not for the ‘perk’ I’ve stolen for myself on the way to heroism. He is the only reason I would contemplate this and I won’t let them take him away. I couldn’t do this without him.

Watch out worlds, Julia Fairchild is coming whether she’s ready or not.

Prepardness stress: a late night venting

2011-03-31T21:57:00.008-07:00

Lately I have been running around researching everything possible about food storage: The 72 hour emergency kits, the 1 month rations for extended emergencies, the one year stash for times of economic troubles, and the long term food storage of 7 years with a shelf life expectancy of 30 years for the food.

This is very stressful for me. I worry everyday over a new disaster and am almost met with one. Recently it has been Japan. I think I needed it to kick me in the butt to try and get in gear for my family. Stress is a warning sure, but too much... I am losing weight already.

I haven't figured how to stop stressing just yet. Now that I've finally made the decision to start a reserve food stash, I am finding things that stress me out even further. My husband is on the fence with his job; a few too many tardies to explain exactly. I know it has been my fault with the surgeries I've been undergoing, the ones I still need, the miscarriage recently, and the all over constant ill feeling of my body. He has tended to me as an angel of mercy. And now is suffering at work because of it.

I pray for help. I pray for prosperity even in these times. I am currently praying for extra prosperity and the understanding of my husband and his work on all things so we may end up with the financial reserve for this mass food piling I've wanted to start for years. I feel overwhelmed, unprepared, and inadequate for the task before me. Yet I feel very strongly that it is a task put upon my shoulders, not anyone else's.

Oh where do I begin then?

I have literally searched thousands of websites that promise the least expensive pricing for the most expensive tastes. I see pricing from 1k-12k depending on variety and trademark. I see the backpack I want for the 72 hour kit tagged with the most expensive price, and not boasting all that the $100 cheaper one has. My head is going to explode with the migraine tonight and I fell apart crying.

I also cannot ignore the persistent idea that if I could just get my book published... oh so much there.
I know my books would be snatched off the shelves, leading to much money in my pocket, and finally I'd have the food reservoir I desire.
Not just stopping there...
No, I'd have the home with which to put it, financial stability for years to come, help with bills stacked up around here, school loans paid off, credit obliterated. SO very much more if/when, for I must believe that one day I will aspire to that which I desperately desire.

I mist and tear up worrying about the future. My mind ever wandering I find myself on the natural disasters foretold to come. I believe they may be sooner than we all think, than we all want. I know many of us will survive such disasters, but I know economic stability will be a dream none of us will be able to ever see again as well. I stress on the inside until the river in my eyes decides to over run her banks. That is tonight and I vent here.

I am comforted to know my Heavenly Father loves me. He will protect me as he sees fit. I do know that a speedy trip to His loving arms is sometimes how he 'protects' His saints. I wish to better myself before thrust into the guilt waiting for me after this life ends. Thus I search out food storage and water purification sites.

Heaven help us all when the last of the earth's tremblings come. They will be together and calamitous to say the least. I am barely ready for the fewer sporadic ones to preceding it all.

Prayers help. The Spirit is strong when I read my scriptures. I have hope, that is why I research these life-prolonging techniques commanded of me and my church. I am glad I have gotten to, however precariously, know my God. I will be improving our relationship with fervor hopefully until the end of the life He has granted me. "Now is the time to prepare" has so many different meanings and I endeavor to accomplish 'prepared' in all.

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Superstitions of the Ides of March tribute

2011-03-13T16:58:00.003-07:00

The times in march referred to as the Ides of March are arguably held on the 13th and 15th of the month. They were created as a celebration of the God of Mars and date back to before the Romans. Myth, legend, and superstitions have spurned to life concerning them when Caesar of the Roman Empire was brutally stabbed 22 times by his best friend and others seeking power. In following centuries many other black days have found themselves falling on these days in March as well. However despite the black cat syndrome the Ides of March are meant for Celebration instead of dour days of fright and forewarning.

I wish you all a Happy Ides of March everyone. Please enjoy the poem I wrote. Though I admit, it was inspired by the witches in Shakespeare's play, thus I dabbled in the superstitions of the holiday instead of the happy celebratory spirit. Enjoy!

My Poem:

A Warning.

Woe betides of the Ides of March the unsown victims of brewed disasters. Envisaged the pernicious witch hath given injurious enemy thy mortal cusp, a doom beget for thy physiognomy alone. Thine threnodial dictation creeps onward for thee dramatically preformed: beware lest Caesar’s fate becomes thy own. Conspirators can be thwarted with proper advance; make it thine before thy time besets. Go.
Verbum sat sapienti, I thus depart.

~Bethany

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2011-01-13T15:30:00.003-07:00

Life is consuming. Who of us does not know that? I live in a world of fantasy when I write, but can find fantasy in the world I live when in the right mood. I love finding unique perspectives and intriguing circumstances and knowing somehow, that this is as real as I let it be.

Miracle of miracles, Magic shared, Ancestral prophecies, and the occasional fortuitous accident are great premises for fantastic books I have read and written. Soon there will be one out there with a byline with my name. I am eager for such an opportunity to soon be within my grasp. So I push on.

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2010-11-10T20:57:00.002-07:00

A tidbit from my day.

After stoking the fire and putting in tons of easily flammable kindling, the fire still would not take a good effect. The girls are watching, excited over every little thing Daddy does, but knowing something is not right since it won't light.

Daddy then smartly bends over to breathe on it, blowing rather hard to help it along. Suddenly flames burst forth and all the kindling is devoured almost instantly, the logs catch on right behind it. The silence lasts for ten seconds and the girls faces are priceless.

Then the exclamation: WOW!!!! I didn't know Daddy was part DRAGON!!!!!!!!

The other: AWESOME!!!!!! Daddy, you can light all the fires in Barbie's castle now!

The ensuing giggles were heard deep into the night. I didn't have the heart to remind them that Barbie's fires were lit by the dragon Penelope and her father. Mmmm my girls ^_^

Mommy is part witch (born on Halloween)/leprechaun (turns milk green on St. Patty's Day), and Daddy is part Dragon. What a fun mixed breed the girls are turning out to be ;)

I cannot wait to tell them weirdness is inherited... :D

...................

I started another book. A sequel to my frog one, it is already an instant hit. My daughters are very excited to find out what happens to Crystal and Jake now. Lets hope all ends well this time.

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2010-10-16T06:03:00.001-07:00

Book writing takes a long time. Perhaps not the actual story itself. A story can be as easily done as your hands typing out each word in ease for about a week. Done, a novel. Sometimes that happens for me. My novels are much longer, and I need a month or two.

However after the initial story, comes the editing, and the querying, and the blurbs and synopsis. Many people are now doing these processes. Writing is no longer an overnight success. Too many people vying for the same place, part, time, and agent all at once.

Many wonderful books are being cast aside right now. Stories that would enlighten uplift and call to a part of you that has yet been addressed are passed over for reasons as simple as no time. No one has time to go over every book everywhere all the time anymore. This begs the question, how does a blurb explicitly convey all a book is capable of holding? My only consolation is that my blurbs do draw in the few out there reading them. Though again, time....

The curse of a very good writer is knowing you are good enough for shelf space, but not finding someone willing to set aside a few more minutes a day to make sure you get there. In a field where any chance of success is so heavily dependent on someone else it gets discouraging after not so very long when the same answer is repeated often.

Hopes for the future are not crushed in me yet. I will plow through as I know my stories are some that belong next to all the others. In one way or another this will not be the end of my writing escapades.

I am writing many stories. This gives me consolation that I will have works put forth some way or another.

So know that I have not given up. I am simply away from here in my efforts to studiously follow up on all avenues in my field of expertise. Soon I hope to give all my readers and supporters the news we all look forward to: I have a publisher.

Soon you will hear this. I am sure of it.

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More Blurbs...

2010-09-18T19:30:00.002-07:00

I must admit, this is still my very favorite book. It is hard to put it away completely. I know that if someone would just read it, they would be pleased with the world created within. My other books are fun, but they are not my 'first' book. My baby... here is yet another attempt at a 'blurb' to try to reel someone in. Let me know what you think ;)

I have always been self sacrificing, just ask my clueless cousin; even she sees how insane I am in catering to her. I never realized I would one day ask myself how far I was willing to go. Falling for a man clearly out of my league, I surprise myself when I am head over heals and not even asking questions. Well some questions, just not the right ones. Like, where was this mysterious isle of his and is magic really real?

He just asked of me what I deem as the ultimate sacrifice in order to save both our worlds. I knew I would do my best to save everyone; it was who I was.

However, I wasn’t going to sacrifice this one thing. Whatever the cost, I wasn’t going that far.

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2010-09-16T20:19:00.002-07:00

There comes a time in the life of a book where the word 'over-edited' gets used. A book that once made sense and told a brilliant story is suddenly thrust into the shadows of confusion and dark questions. Too many under plots and characters can make a seemingly harmless new 'addition' destroy the whole makeup of what once was a great story.

Back to a 'simpler' time, I have brought out the book it was before. Sub plots are ok sometimes, but without the needed subtleties to carry them through and a 'finishing' touch to them, they are trash.
I love editing, but now know that sometimes I can go too far.

I love learning. Just sad to see where one of my books has ended up due to constant nitpicking. The adage "If it's not broke, don't fix it" screams to me every time I open that folder now....

Wish me luck not to repeat this mistake again.

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2010-07-16T22:23:00.003-07:00

A borderline erotica book just came out with my book's premise... Based almost exactly like mine, but amped up on the sex and make-out scenes. It was released June 2010. I have not read it, but the synopsis is almost exactly like mine.

I emailed the writer. She said that the same thing happened to her once. It is devastating to work on something for so long only to find that someone has 'been there, done that' before you.

My consolation is that I have other books I can focus entirely on instead. Hopefully they are not out there for people to think about... hopefully I will have an 'original' original. Dreams are ever varied and perhaps I can find one undreamed.

Wish me luck as I go on further in my endeavors to publish a book and make a world entirely unique and simply wonderful.

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2010-07-10T15:57:00.003-07:00

I recently found a new voice for my book. It is still Julia's voice, but now it has more history, more information establishing my heroine. I am excited and will now endeavor to revamp the rest of the book in this new style I have discovered. My other books are lovely and have their own voice as well. This one was seriously lacking what was needed to draw one in. It was a great story, especially for my first novel... just seriously lacking. I now believe this new revamp will bring exactly what I thought was missing.

And now I am off to write!

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2010-06-14T20:27:00.003-07:00

Frogs, demons, magic sticks charmed with runes, and a few kids determined to free their friends' dad. GrrrrRibbit is a book for middle graders that will take them to a world very much like this one, but where magic exists and heroes are real.

Hopefully the man they are trying to 'save' wants to be saved.

Only one way to find out as Crystal and Jacob head across the country to the nation's capitol to try. So how many times can a plane crash in six hours?? And can Crystal save it from the deadliest barrel roll before it plummets finally to their doom?

The book is finished, and it is waiting to be published. Wish me luck in finding a lovely agent!

Thank you!

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2010-06-08T13:20:00.003-07:00

I have written a third novel. It is so far named "GrrrrrRibbit!!!". I had so much fun writing it. It is in a completely different Genre than my 'Jewel'ed series. Middle grade fiction was a blast to do!

I now get to start the editing process and try to think up a quick blurb for it.

I am excited to have yet another book done. I am hopeful that this one will get better responses than my young adult one. Perhaps I do better with younger minds ;D. We shall see if an agent agrees in a few months or so. For now, I get to reread the lovely book again purely for editing! Whoot whoop!!!

Anyone who knows my blog by now knows full well I LOVE writing and reading. It is a wonderful feeling to do what I enjoy :D. I hope you all get such satisfaction with at least one thing in your life.

hugs and luvs and know I am thinking about you ^_^

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2010-06-05T18:00:00.002-07:00

Reposting as per a few requests!

Being multiculturally minded is awesome. I wish I was! It would be utterly fantastic to speak fluently in several languages.

I said that I knew how to say 'hello' in several different languages. I think I do.

I used to work in a store that had many different people from several diverse backgrounds visit it frequently. I thought, one day when I was young and eager to please everybody, how great it would be if I could greet everybody in their native tongue. The idea was so exciting for me, I immediately went about asking everybody where they were from, and what the general greeting was in their native land. Sometimes I just asked for the translation for 'Hello. How are you.' Now, remember, they were all regulars, so they liked my idea and were very gracious for the eager young student, and taught me pronunciation. Pronunciation means only how to say it. I never did learn how to 'spell' in anything other than the English sounds. No cool characters, just the tongue, throat and mouth to help. So most of them will look butchered (And I rightly apologize to everyone out there), but you should have perfect pronunciation for the ones not spelled correctly.

Here goes:

1.) Aafricans: Alafia.

2.) Apache Native American: Hon duh.

3.) Arabic: Harleh shumur chetoreh.

4.) Bengoli: Namwash karkemohnachee?

5.) Czech: Hada sha?

6.) Chinese: Nee hao.
or: Nee hao mah.

7.) Chomara: Half a day.

8.) Cuban: Ebo roo.

9.) Dutch: Halo hoe gaat het er mee (sp: hoo hat heter ma)

10.) Danish: Hej hvordan gaar det
or: Hej, hvordan har du det

11.) Egyptian Arabic: Majaba Lamatz.

12.) Farsi: Allan wasalahn.

13.) Finish: Tervay meeta cooloo.

14.) French: Bonjour. Comment Alle Vou?

15.) Gaelic: Kimir Aha shive.

16.) German: Halo. Vie gates?

17.) Greek: Yia sou ti kanete?
respond: Imai poly kala essi (Im fine, and you?)
last: Kala kala efcharisto (Fine fine thanks.)

18.) Hebrew: Shallohm.

19.) Hindi: Namastae.

20.) India(n): Kemchoh.

21.) Italian: Bien venudo?

22.) Japanese: for morning only; Ohaiyo Gonzaimasoo.
around noon only; Koneecheewa.
afternoon or evening; Konbanwa.

23.) Korean: to child; On Yong.
to someone the same age; On yong Hasayo.
to someone older (respectively given); On yong hasho meeka.

24.) Lakota (sioux native american): Haukola.

25.) Lebonese: Halo. Marhaba.

26.) Muslim: As salaam aliakum.

27.) Mylasian: Apa khabar.

28.) Navaho: Yata hay.
sometimes: Huh lund et hah.

29.) Persian: Shallohm.

30.) Different dialect, Persian: Sallam chitor ahstee.

31.) Philipino: Como sta?

32.) Polish: Yak sheemash.

33.) Punjabe: Keyhalheh.

34.) Romainian:Boona zee you.

35.) Russian: Dristae Kakoovazdoo-lah?
Also Russian: Previat.

36.) Samoan: Talohfa.

37.) Somalian: Iska warahn.

38.) Dif dialect Somalian: Sidee tahay.

39.) Sotho: Doo mayla.

40.) Spain(ish): Bien Dia.

41.) Spanish (Espanol): Hola Como Estas?

42.) Swahili: Woo hon ditz.

43.) Swedish: Tak.

44.) Tagalog: Kamusta ka.

45.) Ty: Sawadee.

46.) Varu: Malayalam.

47.) Vietnamese: Quiakom.

48.) Dif dialect Vietnamese: Dow Cole.

49.) Third Dialect Vietnamese: Malayalam.

50.) Yugoslavien: Zdravo kakosee.

51.) Yugoslavick: Kako stevie.

52.) Tribal Zulu: Coonjohnee.

53.) Xhosa (one lang in south Africa) Molo (to one person) Molweni (if many people)

54.) Zulu: San Bonanee.

Oops. It looks like I can only remember fifty four languages. That means I forgot about three different ones. Oh well. The mind is a slippery thing....

I thought it was really cool that although people came from the same country, they said their greetings differently within it. The only sure different one I knew before was Mandarin and Kantonese Chinese. But India alone has close to forty different languages. Now I am learning that every country has many unique diversities within it. Of course I grew up knowing the US has Native Americans that speak differently, but I was ignorant to realize that many people outside our country saw them as other dialects within our country (not all, many do know the difference between English and Cherokee). Zulu and tribal Zulu are completely different races as well. This is very interesting to me. Even now I enjoy seeing how truly diverse our languages are. Absolute fun.

I also learned several other things to say in a few of these languages. Though I never learned a whole one, it was fun to try to speak to my friends as one of their own.

Tidbits...

Japanese: Keemeewa kawaii -I think you are cute.

Chinese: Nee hun koo I -You are cute.

Hindi: Boh hooserahs -You are good looking.

German: Ich leebee deech -I love you.

French: Je te aime -I love you.

Do you like diversity? I know that it can get annoying when you are in the US and Spanish greets you on the phone, but it can be fun, too. The next time that Spanish greets you, be very serious and say;

Lo siento no comprendo.

See if you make them halt as you answer 'sorry' that you 'can't understand Spanish' while speaking fluent Espanol! I love doing that to people! As a fair haired person, I often get looked over when people think about intelligence.

I.E. I spoke perfect Russian to my movers when they arrived here with my stuff from Arizona. Shocked them! They both looked chagrined and spoke in English for me for the rest of the time they were in my presence. I knew they had said something awful, or at the very least not so nice, and I let them think I knew exactly what it was. They will never know I only knew 'hello how are you', and then 'goodbye' as I spoke only those two phrases in their perfect fluent tongue.

They did ask about my perfect pronunciation. I answered I had a very close friend that lived there most of her life. It was true. I worked with the lady at that job I mentioned. She was very kind to let me pick her brain. I am so glad I did. Those movers were much nicer afterward!

I like to believe good of people. Maybe it let them feel happy that someone took the time to speak to them in their native tongue. Some of my friends in the states have mentioned that they miss their home country even though they are glad to be here. I was glad to be able to give them at least a greeting. The smiles I got were great, and made me feel all warm inside. I hope when I travel, if I am poor in speaking the beautiful languages around me(that I will study studiously before I go), I will get the same attitude I give. Culture is precious. I hope people don't hate me for mine, despite those out there that give us Americans a poor rep. I care. I know we don't 'rule'. But I am glad to be one. Just as everyone should be proud of their heritage.

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2010-05-16T18:16:00.003-07:00

This stage has ended. Time to figure out another way.

It has been fourteen months now since I've started seeking publications for my book. I have asked every agent and their company and any affiliate for assistance in securing a contract at any publishing house. I have been turned down by all.

I know that many of the rejections are what they call 'form rejections'. This means that it was not worth the time to tell me it was awful personally, and that the rejection I received has been given to many many people out there. Not my favorite form of rejection, but it was an answer.

Many agents were quite courteous. Much more so than I was told to expect, and mostly said their plate was full and that they simply had too many clients to take on more at this time, or that my genre did not 'speak' to them at this time.

I did get a few coveted emails that said my query was intriguing, or interesting. I am hoping to find someone who has the time and thinks it is great. Of course, so is every other writer out there....

If any of you have read the book and think it isn't going to sell, let me know why. I am starting new renovations to send off to those 'form' rejection happy people. I am trying to 'knock' some socks off here and want it stunning and fantastic.

If anyone wants to give me their Email, send it on my Facebook inbox. I will start sending chapters along so you may at least read my awesome book.

And I am off! Wish me luck in my next endeavors!

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2010-03-02T11:30:00.003-07:00

Ever changing blurbs.... hehehehe This truly is fun, but I am ready to be published now, and my other books are more fun to finish than this. Please send prayers that the agents like my stuff too!!!

Julia is a nonhuman. She just doesn’t know it yet.

The second day aboard the cruise ship, Julia is regaled by the horror stories of a country nearby in serious war. A missing heir is the reclusive trio’s plight and they are actively researching a few of the liner’s resident crew members for four years now in hopes of finally restoring peace to their little country. Julia is intrigued in their efforts and offers help, until her cousin becomes the next victim to the mysterious plague befalling the guests. As imminent death approaches, Julia sees red. Literally. The trio is suddenly certain their heir is aboard now. And so is someone else, as Julia just made a few hit lists. Hopefully her suddenly elusive memory catches up with her before it is too late, and surely it would explain why the handsome reclusive royal is suddenly following her with that pinched look on his face.

At least she is not nonhuman anymore. No, now she’s inhuman; and in possession of all the knowledge that comes with being one.

Hopefully Julia Violet-Dawn Fairchild, aka Jewels, will be a name that will be uttered world wide soon!!!!

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2010-03-01T10:42:00.002-07:00

And as always happens when I write... I went over board! I have all these different versions for a query as well. I am however keeping a few things the same in each... I just love those lines!!!!

1.)

Julia is a nonhuman. She just doesn’t know it yet.

When a cruise ship’s guests suddenly start falling victim to a mysterious plague, Julia starts wondering about the reclusive royal trio that has been following her around ever since she boarded. Her suspicions get lost when her cousin, her last living relative, falls ill as well. The death toll rises and Julia succumbs to the bereavement that had been threatening her for days only to find she is seeing red and growing warm. Literally. Now the royals are popping up everywhere and suddenly her cousin is healed. Julia is about to get to the bottom of things. One pointed ear at a time.

At least she’s not nonhuman anymore. No now she’s inhuman, and in possession of all the knowledge that comes with being one. Hopefully it will be enough.

2.)

Julia is a nonhuman. She just doesn’t know it yet.

Once she learns this, chaos breaks out aboard the cruise ship she’s on. After memory lapses, mysterious plagues, and odd, almost magical activities, she not only finds her life threatened by beings that she never even knew existed before, but also madly in love with one of them.

At least she’s not nonhuman anymore. No now she’s inhuman, and in possession of all the knowledge that comes with being one.

3.)

Julia is a nonhuman. She just doesn’t know it yet.

Pretending flawlessly that she is actually happy in the frozen north, Julia sends her cousin/guardian off to the cruise ship's spa for the day, leaving Julia on her own to explore the ship's inner bowels. What she uncovers is more than she ever wanted. As the new world declares that Julia is their long foretold savior, she is already thinking of retreating. She falters in the bolt however when she falls in love with one of the forbidden creatures.

No longer a nonhuman, she's an inhuman; and in possession of all the knowledge that comes with being one. Hopefully it will be enough to at least... survive.

Hmmmmmmmm

Now you all know I have more. ;) But these were a few of the edited ones. So which is the best? :D

Vote below in comments ;)

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2010-03-01T09:44:00.004-07:00

Okay. Last one was read and liked, but no takers... just little nibblers feasting on the words. Thus, I have written a new query. Let's hope this one is sufficiently delicious to finish the meal with a request! Wish me luck!

Julia is a nonhuman. She just doesn't know it yet.

Pretending flawlessly that she is actually happy in the frozen north, Julia sends her cousin/guardian off to the cruise ship's spa for the day, leaving Julia on her own to explore the ship's inner bowels. What she uncovers is more than she ever wanted. As the new world declares that Julia is their long foretold savior, she is already thinking of retreating. She falters in the bolt however when she falls in love with one of the forbidden creatures.

No longer a nonhuman, she's an inhuman; and in possession of all the knowledge that comes with being one. Hopefully it will be enough to at least... survive.

*Crosses fingers!!!*

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2010-02-24T03:29:00.002-07:00

I just wrote a children's book! Perhaps it will get published! whoot whoop!

Thank you to my niece and her fantastic imagination! one sentence, and I created a whole book off of it! AND there are other friends to write about as well!!!! yayyyy!

2010-02-22T19:40:00.002-07:00

Chapters one through five of my book are reedited for the hundredth time. And now, to make it worse, I've readded a scene I took out months ago. I really really liked it!!! hahahaha More work for me now! whoot whoop! I enjoy writing too much. lol

Now I need more opinions... does the new/that-was-once-old scene still fit??? Hmmm! I am excited to find out! those of you wanting the newer version, please let me know!!! Please email me on FB inbox your email addy you want it sent to :) And as always... THANK YOU!!!!!

2010-01-25T20:42:00.002-07:00

Wanted: Critical, Nitpicky, Analytical, Readers!

I am having fun sharing the first chapter with people!!! I am asking for feedback and most have been very cooperative and wonderful!

I am willing... for a few of you who are interested... I would like to send out the first chapter for feedback. Edit, fix storyline for me... etc. I am interested in making it perfect. Do not tell me that it just doesn't bring you in, explain why, or what you would like to see. I am only sharing with serious people who are willing to help me perfect this. This is my future livelihood, please be terribly objective. :D

Okay! waiting for people to ask!

*EXCITED!!!!*

(Disclaimer: If I am not positive you will help me, or think you will only give me praise, or fear fraud, chapter will be refused for you.)

Have a great day!

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2010-01-13T13:58:00.003-07:00

Holidays and colds have been keeping me from posting as much as I would like to. I beg your forgiveness for those of you clamoring for more. I shall do my best to satiate your thirst. ;)

The protagonists from my first book have been speaking to me again. I have started the third book in the series involving the Jewel. Joshua and Julia are now dancing across white pages and splattering their story with fantastic finesse. -Despite the from/form typos etc., of my very eager fingers. ;)

What a lovely way to start a day!

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Warm Arizona memories

2009-12-31T15:36:00.003-07:00

Mormon Arizona Temple

I received this picture in my email. The caption was "The amazing the things that remind me of you".

What a wonderful compliment that I could be thought of in the same sphere as Temples and Christmas lights.

This picture is warm, and familiar for me. All through my youth I remember visiting the Arizona temple. Christmas was no exception and the lights and decorations around the visitors center were always my favorite. Hot chocolate sometimes followed on those exceptionally cold nights, but I mostly remembered the friends and family I had nearby. They truly warmed me more than steaming mugs of froth. The feeling, it seems, was mutual. I miss them all very much.

Thank you for reminders of Christmas past my friend. This was a lovely trip down memory lane and I cherish our times together. Happy New Year, and may you have fun creating many more pleasant memories.

Luvs and hugs to all my friends. I am so glad to have had the opportunity to meet all of you. Each of you are a jewel to me. Thank you for being you.

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An author's update

2009-12-29T13:47:00.005-07:00

*Sighs dramatically*

There are far too many ways to write, and when every different agent has their own opinion about how something should be done, it just means more work for us writers.

Im not new to auditioning. Between dance and choir professionally, and band and drama in HS, I have seen and done many auditions. Butterflies are not new and I enjoy the thrill of the performance.

However, I always knew what the person I was auditioning for expected. Poise, grace, fluidity, balance, flexibility, stamina, clarity, and professionalism revolved universally in these worlds.

Querying for prospective agents has absolutely nothing in common with another.

Some prefer a 'blurb only please'; a six sentence teaser for the book you are submitting. Others want that in a query letter that petitions them for their services. While others still want both plus the synopsis, sample chapters, and autobiography as well. This gets more frustrating when the synopsis are preferred in different lengths; one page, two pages, three pages, five pages, ten pages, and even twenty. I now have six synopsis that I pull out and reedit often. It doesn't help that each agent has their own idea of the perfect font for these.

I have even done a few styling changes in by actual novel. Different ways to state things, and how to use proper grammar. Possessive plural proper nouns (say that five time fast!) are quite the annoyance to me! Each agent thinks they know which is right, and many discard a book if it isn't their preferred way. JK Rawlings for Harry Potter got a lot of this. Her Brit way is helps my eyes and looks proper, but a lot of Yanks here want the lesser styling. Book gets edited again....

I do understand the different genres they adore. As in dance and song, there are a multitude of styles that span far and wide. I only query those that I can fit my books into. Though, it can fit into eight or nine of these genres, so I have eighteen different blurbs that I send out. Each one is detailed for the genre of the specific agent I am querying. If adventure, I play up that part. If they prefer romance, the blurb explains that part. Paranormal? Yes, my first book is very diversified. That helps incredibly with the plot, I've found. ;) Much more interesting!

Stephanie Meyers' book is a paranormal romance in an urban fantasy world. See that? Four different genres for Twilight.

My book is similar...

Mmmm...

I regress to say 'similar' as I am quite opposed to vampires, but I have the paranormal romance in a different fantasy world. This will probably be my only romance series as the middle grade fiction I am also writing is much more paranormal adventure. I am diverse! It helps to find more agents and finally get that *first one* published. I am very excited for that to happen.

Aside from making money on the short stories and contests I enter I can't wait to be a novelist. Author for now, Novelist... in progress.

Lots of work ahead of me. *tackles it* I will make this work. Even if I have to rewrite a few books. I am fiercely determined!

Wish me luck! (I am going to need it! *changes font for the eighth time today*)

Sigh. I love writing!

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2009-12-26T15:17:00.006-07:00

Merry CHRISTmas my friends.
May the love and peace you feel this time of year follow you throughout the rest of your lives.

Allow me to vent once again.

It pains me terribly that Christmas has become commercialized.

Presents, decorations, and fancy meals have become more important than the man who it has been in celebration of.

I am very jealous of the Jews this time of year. Hanukkah is such a peculiar name it makes the holiday unique and special, and thus unadoptable for the gentiles. It remains a holiday to remember the miracle of the eight days of oil and nothing more. Perhaps if Christmas had a more unpronounceable name it would remain the sentimental holiday it was meant to be.

Two thousand and nine years ago, a man named Jesus Christ was born to a virgin woman by the name of Mary. This man, sired by God himself by a miracle only He could perform, grew up to be the most important man for the whole human race. He then gave the ultimate sacrifice and suffered for every one of our sins with great and unbearable pains. Jesus did this because he loves us, and knows us all personally.

It may be hard to imagine that this is how it was, but you must admit that the man, if not the son of God, DID actually exist. There are accounts many places besides the accounts of devote Christians. History can no longer deny the existence of such a wonderful man and he is in many cultures that still thrive in the middle east. He lived, he taught people how to be good, and he cared about people. These are FACTS that are not made up.

Such a wonderful reason to celebrate someone-their good good works-, I am sad that my day of worship for him is being taken away from me.

Commercialism has stolen my sacred day and turned it into a day of idols where gifts are worshiped more than the man it's meant to honor. It disgusts me when people say xmas and refuse to let me worship my Savior on my own precious holiday. If you want a present day, please have the creativity to go get your own. New years sounds like a fun day, and we already get it off anyway. Celebrate the new year with new things, but please let me have my day with my Savior. The Jews have theirs, please give me mine back.

I am thankful that the Jews still have theirs. And Kwanza is hopefully another name that will help their day stay personal for those who celebrate it. Now Maulana Karenga had the right idea in 1966. She at least had creativity. Presents for her culture and a day just for her and her people; no stealing and making others forfeit centuries of worship. I like her.

Thus I propose...

For us Christians needing to have that day of worship preserved; I suggest that we take a day back for our Savior. A day to remember him and all he did for us. No presents or lists of gratuitous things to salivate over. Just carols and love and a remembrance of all that he did for us.

I happen to know Christ's actual day of birth. This may sound strange, but prophets walk the earth again and angels still communicate with us. Joseph Smith was one such prophet, and he was told by one of these angels that Jesus's birthday was on April 6.

I propose that all Christians who read this help me celebrate the man whom this season was claimed for. We can drag out Christmas carols and pass out cookies to dear friends and serenade them with Christ's taught love in our hearts on this other day as well. Perhaps if this works, we can do it again in August... just for the fun of it. This will certainly spread love throughout the year to those who forget the meaning of Christmas for the other 364 days. Truly, I keep it with me always, but I know that many who claim to also have a rough year.

A little light humor, but wouldn't it really be nice to capture the special feeling we feel this time of year and release it on the unsuspecting public en masse throughout the year? Haha, I chuckle as I picture the faces that will, at first be wary, but then bloom into the smiles I'm trying to see there. People need to take life lighter....

Sometimes it is hard to be the light happy person people see all the time. I don't have someone like me to bring me out of my funks. Though if I can bring someone else out of theirs, it does make me feel great. I am thankful for the teachings of the Savior to help me remember that we can all be here for each other.

I will always be here for you. I listen even better than I write. I love you all, and may the reason of this precious season warm your hearts this chilly winter time and all year.

God Bless and Hugs and Loves and happy wishes.

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2009-12-21T18:00:00.001-07:00

What do you have on top of the Christmas tree?

Some people prefer the star to sit up there. Whether it's a reminder of the sun that appeared when Christ was born, or something that draws your attention to the heavens where He dwells, or even if it is just a pretty accent to the emerald green of the tree, the vast majority choose this lovely gem to sit atop their winter expression of life for the holidays.

If you are not a star person, you may choose the less popular, but still beautiful, angel to smile down on you from her lofty perch. Whether dressed in feathers, long taffeta, or even deep red velvet and faux fur, she speaks to you and that is why she sits there. Perhaps she is the reminder of the angel proclaiming the coming of her Lord and Savior in splendorous song. Perhaps you merely feel safe that she is protecting you tree or home. But something about having a face makes you feel warm inside.

Some people have handmade crafts that complete their tree. Spindles pointing heavenward, bells that ring joyously, doves that coo when you trip the motion sensor, even wrapped gifts have been seen as the piece de resistance. These always have special meaning to those displaying them.

Those of us who share this holiday enjoy that there is always something similar that we have to carry in our hearts at this time of year. Indeed we may not celebrate it for the same reason, but most of us remember that love was the real meaning behind our happy smiles and gift-giving.

And that knowledge will forever draw us together in harmony.

Happy Christmas!

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2009-12-21T17:48:00.003-07:00

I don't want to be the rockstar. I don't want to be the adoring fans, I don't want to be the paparazzi posting their scandals on the front page.

I have been blessed with a life to live. I am so glad I get to choose how to spend it. I see people in the limelight, in the after light, and in the dark. None of those look like fun.

Adventure lies out there, but if you are too concerned about what the people around you think, or are doing, life will pass you by. So many things to focus on I would hate to miss what was important because I was trying to be what I thought everyone wanted me to be.

I figured this out in high school. I was a little dense before then.

Once I embraced who I was I really found myself. People are very often drawn to me. Some will never let go. I will forever be their life preserver in this dreary world, and have been told this many times over. I wish I could wave a magic wand for everybody, but will do what I can with the pixie dust to keep them all afloat.

I am a little exuberant with people and very open with my feelings. It is who I am. I am a dreamer and have high goals and lots of wishes. I know I will attain a few of these in my life and work to make them real. Not many people I know even care about the future and it is sad that many have stopped dreaming.

I would hate that. To have no excitement or hope in my future seems unbearable and unlivable. No wonder they are unhappy.

I think of myself as a happy person. Whether it is because too many around me are unhappy, or because I have a warped view of the world, I am not complaining. I like life and all the possibilities it offers.

And there are always endless possibilities for those who seek them.

....................

Eeney Meenie Miney Moe.

2009-12-20T14:02:00.003-07:00

Let me begin by saying I know how busy you are. I am tickled pink, grateful, and very happy that so many of you make it to my blog. Thank you.

That being said, I have another favor to ask.

These are a few 'blurbs' or 'queries' that get sent along with a petitioning letter to various agents. Each one speaks about different things that happen in the book. Each one is meant to make you want to read it to find out more.

I would like you to let me know which one does the best job of drawing you in. I realize that the genre may not be your particular favorite as there are so many wonderful ones out there, but for what it is are any of these better than it's cousin?

The genre is paranormal romance. That means lots of magical adventure and a few people fall in love too.

I can't wait to hear what you have to say. The best argument for any blurb in particular will be sent to the next agent. A contest! So let's find out who's going to win!

ONE:

Seventeen-year-old Julia is a nonhuman; she just doesn’t know it yet. When she finally does figure this out, it’s suddenly too late. Luckily Julia’s no damsel. That’s a good thing because she just fell for the wrong guy. Literally when she finds out he’s not even the same species.

Against his desire she’s suddenly plunged into his world. At least she's not a nonhuman anymore... no, now she's an inhuman –and completely in love with the forbidden creature. Can she still save herself after forfeiting all the magic she could have had with the ‘right’ guy?

(Bad thing about this one is that it ends in a question. Agents hate that, though we still find questions on the back of other books.)

TWO:

Julia is a nonhuman. She just doesn’t know it yet. When she finally does figure this out it’s too late. Luckily Julia is also no damsel. That’s a double good thing when she falls for the wrong guy; in more ways than one when she finds out he’s not even human.

Suddenly weird things start happening and memories get erased. Too bad he can’t erase her feelings for him too. But Julia’s heart is stubborn and won’t switch to the man picked out for her in the prophecy.

Luckily, accidents happen.

THREE:

Julia doesn’t need much to be happy. Making her cousin Carey’s day seems to be more than enough for her. So when her cousin wins an all expense paid cruise to Alaska it becomes Julia’s mission to make sure Carey has the best time ever. Shopping, elegant dining, singles’ activities, and fabulous pampering spas become her cousin’s itinerary.

Julia didn’t plan on falling in love. He fights her for his own reasons and her heart gets crushed with every memory wipe he bestows on her. Her heart remains true, but he remains stubborn saying it is for her own good. Luckily accidents happen. She only had to die to remember the last time and now she's not giving him up again.

FOUR:

Julia is a nonhuman. She just doesn’t know it yet.

A seemingly harmless cruise starts out with all the accommodations promised in the brochures. So it was a shock when the body count started rising. In the middle of the ocean, the mysterious illness quarantines the people infected to their cabins, but it’s too late for Julia’s cousin, Carey.

As Carey lay dying, the ship’s reclusive royal wanders in with a medicine man technique promising to help her cousin’s severe pain. The result leaves Carey feeling better, and Julia head over heals for the man who saved her. Too bad he’s not good for her. By the time she figures that out, she’s no longer a nonhuman. No, now she’s an inhuman and in possession of all the knowledge that comes with being one. For better or for worse.

FIVE:

Julia loves to spoil her cousin. The cruise she wins for her seems like the perfect opportunity to do just that. Until the death toll rises and weird things start happening. Now the reclusive royal that suddenly shows up everywhere Julia goes is the perfect person to suspect. Too bad Julia’s too far in love with him to care.

Or maybe it’s because she forgot to care. Once she realizes her memory is being tampered with, the questions start spewing. And again, it just doesn’t seem to matter… until he rejects her because he believes he’s not good enough for her. Now she’s up to do some serious convincing. Luckily accidents happen-for better or for worse- and she thinks she found a way to get him to see the lights-both of them.

SIX:

Julia is a nonhuman. She just doesn’t know it yet. When she finally does figure this out it’s too late. Luckily Julia is also no damsel. That’s a double good thing when she falls for the wrong guy; in more ways than one when she finds out he’s not even human.

Suddenly weird things start happening, mysterious illnesses break out, and memories get erased. Too bad he can’t erase her feelings for him too, because Julia’s heart is stubborn and won’t switch to the man picked out for her in the moldy old prophecy. Luckily accidents happen with new powers, and Julia wouldn’t have it any other way.

Let me know which is your favorite!

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It's going to be a chilly winter

2009-12-17T09:00:00.001-07:00

Remember when global warming meant that was why it was so hot? Well now it also explains why it is so cold.

Confused?

I haven't even started yet.

Last winter my area had the coldest season in about twenty-one years. Ice storms happened more than people could count and power was lost on a daily basis. But why was it so cold?

We were not that far from the sun. In our orbital rotation, there had been years not too long ago that we had reached a further pull and those winters were normal. Why was this one so much worse than they?

Because of global warming.

You say 'huh?'. Warming makes you... colder?

The polar ice caps have finally melted enough for the cooler waters to migrate far enough to affect us. Not only will NYC be under water within the next fifty years, but the temperature is dropping world-wide in drastic and very serious degrees. Plummeting people.

There is no more hope that we can correct this on time and scientists have determined that we ARE causing the next ice age. This is a fact already set in motion, it cannot be changed.

However...

They do believe that they can minimize the impact the severe weather has in store for us... if, IF we start changing our lifestyles now.

Repeat that: NOW.

There would have to be windmills everywhere, all cars would have to be electric. Houses would use solar panels and make as much of their own electricity as possible. Water would be monitored better and systems would be set up to harvest and collect it yourself. Chemicals would be abolished and the seventh generation products would be all we'd need. Paper wouldn't exist and all books would be on Nooks or the like. Schools would be completely electronic. Plastic would be used sparingly and cotton would replace much of the hospital's sanitary needs, being boiled when finished instead of thrown away.

If, and I say this very lightly, if we were to accomplish this in the next year we would still be facing severe changes in weather patterns.

I know that mankind will survive the ice age. We certainly came through all right before. And the atmosphere would be dramatically cleansed when the pollutants were solidified and sent back to the ground they were unearthed from. Imagine no smog and being able to inhale without assistance in places like Hong Kong and LA. A miracle to be sure.

But how many of us would we lose?

Hundreds?

We should be so lucky.

The population will decrease by close to ninety two percent. That is over five billion souls.

How callous is it that some of you believe this is a good thing? Right Scrooge? 'Decrease the surplus populations' and all that?

Sigh.

An ice age would be good and bad. I am sad that it is we, mankind, that did this. The planet that gave us life is being wadded into a giant paper wad and being thrown away. What right have we to do such a thing?

Rights or not, it is happening. Those of you who care, I hope you make it. The end of the world comes in hundreds and thousands of disguises. This is just one of the many that make mankind take a step back and pause for a bit. Don't pause too long. There are many things you can do to lesson the impact individually. I've listed them above. Check out a few 'green' sites to get some more ideas. All this is 'google-able'.

Well this was fun. If you get snow in a bizarre place this year, say Arizona's Phoenix Valley, I promise I won't say I told you so... if I remember that I promised! lol

Otherwise, enjoy snuggling under those blankets while you can. Apparently sometime in your lifetime it will be more than snuggling, but life and death huddling.

Let's hope not. For everyone's sake. But it is hard to deny firm statistics. I'm breaking out the snowsuits. The snow is already too deep for this time of year up here. The statistics are adding up.

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2009-12-15T09:49:00.004-07:00

Many think that writing a book is easy. You have ideas, they get written down, and voila! You have a wonderful new book that will sell in hundreds of stores everywhere.

I never thought this, but I was a bit in lala land when I started. I wasn't sure I could produce a whole novel for one thing. That is a lot of work, and I've never taken my hand at writing anything longer than the short twenty-line poems in junior high, and the awful short stories in High school for assignments. A novel was a challenge. One I was eager to take a hand at.

Truth be told, I thought I'd fail like so many countless others before me. In research before I even started writing, I found out that only .001% of the people who decide to write a book actually finish one. Intimidating odds, so I didn't get my hopes up.

I did however, start a story about a girl and her aunt. Funny, but that is where I began. I knew I wanted a race of magical beings to be in it, and I knew that I wanted this girl to be my main protagonist. The story was written very differently than most. I knew what a summary was, but I was having more fun coming up with things for my characters to do as I walked with them.

Eventually scenes were rearranged, and for convenience's sake, the aunt became a loved cousin. I was surprised that this made much more sense with the characters' relationship. Someone closer to her age was wanted, and the whole 'guardian thing' needed more... 'holes' for lack of a better word. I like holes when they make sense.

I now have a full novel. I have almost two. I say almost because while the second is finished, it is not yet 'finished'. I have ideas about scene changing already and will be going back through it when I have the time.

I am also writing two completely different novels in a younger genre. I am busy busy!

I am pleasantly pleased to find that writing is so much fun for me. I wish I was better at all the fundamentals like grammar and sentence structure. But I AM a good story-teller and I am hoping that will carry me through to at least an editor. In the meantime, Microsoft Word does those little green things to help me with the basics. ;)

Querying a talented agent is next. I have been for a few months now. They prefer exclusive rights to the material and I try to respect that by only sending out one at a time. They take about six to ten weeks to answer. Except one mercifully. I had a rejection in twelve minutes. He likes adventure, but the literary fiction part was a little heavy for him. Opposite of what I got from a woman. She said that the literary fiction part was divine and light, but the adventure was a little to graphic for the romance. I reminded her about Twilight. Yeah, she didn't like that one either, lol.

There is an agent out there that will like mine though. It is NOT Twilight. It is... well very different, but the relationship ends up leading to a lot of problems... I'm sure that sounds familiar in every romance novel! ;)

True love conquers all and in the end there is hope that all that is set before the protagonist will be attainable. Not as easily as if she had done it the preferred way, but she isn't adverse to a little hard work either. At least her choice to love whom she chose is making any hard work involved much more bearable.

A writer I have become. I submit short stories to several contests and websites now. I have won almost all contests and am earning money and small publications. I am an author! Not on the scale I will be when I publish any one of the novels, but it is a start. And I can't be too mad that I am earning money. :D

If any of you want to write, I suggest you look into the publication processes. It is grueling and daunting, and I assure you, not for the faint of heart. If you think you have something that will make it through all that, please, I encourage you to go ahead. It is a wonderful feeling to have someone say they like your work enough to pay you for it.

A short peek into my occupation... I hope you liked it. Thanks to all my readers and even followers. You all rock so much! Post comments and ask me questions. I want to know what you would like to see me blog about on here. I accept requests and respond to most of them. Reading them is my favorite!

Luvs and hugs and have a great day.

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2009-12-09T01:54:00.004-07:00

And all that other good stuff!!!

I think the world needs a little bit more of this. Not the sultry seductive kind, but the 'I care and I wanted you to know' kind. How angry can you stay when someone wraps their arms around you and says they're sorry? Trust me, the anger melts faster than ice cream in July.

I chat/talk/text/email/ and speak to many people I know and happily add luvs and hugs to the ends of our conversations. It is a way to pass on that I care and that I will be thinking of them until I see them again. Many return the gesture, but I know that all feel wonderful knowing that someone out there is rooting for their well-being.

My heart is in my well-wishing too. I love those I extend this sentiment to and I want them to know it on at least some level. My heart yearns to know they are okay, and I have no problem expressing that.

A short post today. I just wanted to put it out there if I say this to you, it is meant much heavier than the nonchalant delivery system I've spent years perfecting. See, I don't want to scare you off with the depths of my heart. But I HAVE to let you know how much you mean to me!

If I haven't scared you away, leave a post here. And as always, luvs and hugs and kisses and snuggles and warm wishes!

Goddess Gurl

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2009-12-06T06:34:00.002-07:00

The question is: "Can Man ever be God?"

If that is all I am answering, then 'No'. He cannot, nor will Man EVER be God. And thank goodness for that; end of story!

Unless, however... I wonder, if maybe we could ask whether we, our internal and ever-living spirits, can become God. First, not of this world. He has claimed this one, and not one of our consciousnesses is ready for something of that magnitude in our current selfish states.

We do, however, according to the bible (KJV) have the ABILITY to become gods.

Yes. This we can do. But then we will no longer be man so the before statement remains firm.

You must understand that at the point that we become gods or goddesses we will have spent eons of time that now boggles our centered minds perfecting our spiritual thoughts, ideas, and beliefs to make a better, more usable being. With practice, and perhaps many lifetimes to work on our weaknesses, we will emerge as the being that our God has set us up for. We will then, indeed, be ready to create our own worlds and watch our own precious children grow and nurture them within it.

Truly to think of ruling over more than just the being you are today, of course we instantly reject this thought. Could we ever really see how we can be in our current state? Charity is something very few of us master in this life. How are we expected to take the little we learn here and apply it on a world-wide scale?

Again, no. Absolutely not; Man cannot become God. But our spirits, when united again with our recreated and perfected bodies, have the POTENTIAL to become Gods. It is what we do in this life that will determine how we will be AFTER this life.

I'm going to make it work. I may be afraid of such a thing as ruling a planet of my own creation, but the potential to find out is NOT something I want to waste because of that fear. I will strive to do what is right to show I KNOW how to follow the rules that my god has placed around my existence. I may mess up, but that very caring God knew I would. I hope I can be as caring, loving, and unconditional as He is. Only then will I truly have done all I can for Him. Once I've done all I can with His rules, I will be able to create a world of my own with those same perfect rules that I will have already gotten to intimately know. I have a lot to learn before that happens; IF that happens, but I won't forfeit my chance to find out if I can be God material!

Goddess Bethany... I kinda like the sound of that!

In my pompous, conceited, selfish, unrefined, and definitely un-godlike way of course!

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2009-12-04T06:30:00.001-07:00

Day four:
Religious views make up for what 93% of the world believe.

Most prefer to think we're in God's magestic hands.
That he'll 'save us' in the end.

The last theory that the world is going to end soon is merely prophetic heresay in religious texts. I say heresay lightly, because many of you believe this one too. I mean no offense, but it was interesting to hear your opinions. ;)

Whether you believe in Christianity, Islamic, or Jewish eschatology, or Greek mythology, Hinduism, or a mixture of theology and philosophy, mysticism, or various Orient cultures, or simply science as your 'religion', you believe that the world will end.

People have been prophesying this fact for as long as man has inhabited the free thinking world. It is a part of our nature to think that there is an end to all things, and thus an end to the very life that we see around us. I believe that there is an end.

I do not believe, however that it is going to be on man's calendar- ancient or otherwise. Most of you know that I am Christian. I believe God will 'roll the earth's scrolls' together in His own due time. I also believe that being prepared isn't all that bad. Again I refer to my year supply and the job that was lost a few years back. It was nice to be able to eat.

As to that apocalyptic end everyone is talking about? Well if it's going to end, there's not going to be anywhere to hide people! Hello! THE END!!!??? Seriously, that has me wondering.

Christianity-now I refer to this because I am... did you not read the above?!?

Some Christians believes that there will be a big catastrophe when a lot of people will die. They believe that many will still be here though, too. Those lucky enough to see Christ again will automatically see him as the supreme ruler and be automatically converted and there will me 1000 years of peace.

Other Christians believe that all the good will be saved and brought home while the wicked below will suffer immense torture according to God's anger-filled wills and pleasures.

Some Christians believe a little of both.

I honestly don't know the details as Revelations is hard to follow in the code Peter wrote it in. I think I know a little... but again, all of it is what I ask God it is, and He isn't giving me all the details right now. ;)

Religion is secular and partial to what the individual believes. But it looks like both the religious and spiritual and astrological sides are saying that something is written in the stars that will be... well something to look forward to. Now whether that is in joy or fear, I believe it is up to us personally.

I think that when God saves those that have lived 'good' lives, 'saved' won't always mean that we'll still be on this earth. Perhaps to be saved, we will die and go straight to that paradise he has preserved for us rather than feel his wrath personally.

In the meantime...

Who wants in on that 'buy a private island and install an underground crush-proof-lava-proof bunker' idea of mine? Anyone? Anyone at all? I'm currently taking offers... All it takes is everything you own and every last dime in your bank.

I see a few of you contemplating. You can get back to me. ;)

This is the last of the series folks. I'd appreciate your comments before all technology becomes useless please.

All joking aside, the food in the pantry was a nice thing to have... if you didn't catch that; I think everyoine should have one. ;)

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2009-12-03T06:30:00.004-07:00

The third theory for the 2012 scare that I have come across is the amazing pole change theory.

This one has nothing to do with the alignment of the planets, but solely the sun.

In 2012, not necessarily in December mind you, but even earlier that year, the earth will reach away from the sun the furthest that it has in over a trillion years. There is also gravity in this theory.

The pull will be so great and centered so perfectly that the already drifting poles <(this is a fact not a theory) will be dramatically pulled to such extents that they will move several thousands of miles and the earth will have an inverted axis.

First, for those of you new to earth's amazing features, the magnetic poles DO NOT align with the earth's rotation axis. Strange, but true needs to do an episode here.

We know for fact that earths magnetic poles have changes a lot over the many years, and a few dramatic inches recently in the last decade. The axis poles have changed a little less, the last dramatic one being over fourteen billion years ago.

Scientists believe they are due for a change.

When the magnetic conversion finally reaches a close enough proximity to the axis pole (remember it is currently getting closer day by day), it is said that the gravity from their meeting will slingshot the magnetic pole around the other side of the axis pole with insane force. The axis pole at that point will be further thrown when earth reaches that furthest point from the sun and the axis, already in turmoil, will then race 180 degrees, throwing the north and south frozen poles to their new places.

As this happens, icebergs, land mass, and water will be in catastrophe as the molten center of the earth wreaks havoc to the earth's surfaces. According to research, there will be three and a half days of a really cool magnetic field during this time. There are possible hypothesis here that say weightlessness may be a possible occurrence.

Now while people are telling you to dig holes and bury guns and provisions and all you can, I wonder if those holes won't simply be crushed between moving rock and glaciers, or melted by molten lava, or washed away by those tsunamis. Of course, they could float into outerspace during this weightless maneuver that will happen... or will the magnetic field have a barrier point?

Theories, hypothesis, mathematical equations and dreaming minds have put all these 'facts' together to come up with these interesting conclusions. I just thought you all might like to know what some of the most intelligent minds in the world have been dreaming up, and how it is supposed to affect our future.

Do with this information what you may. I'm going to go through my pantry and use up the ones that will expire soon. The job market is still down, and I want it fresh in case there is another reason that trips to the store will need to be postponed. That is my own personal crisis. Not sure about the ones dreamed up by everyone else, but I must say, 2012 doesn't look that promising. Hopefully the worst that will happen is that Obama will finally be out... did I say worst? I meant best! ;)

Seriously, why worry about a few years from now when there is so much going on to be worried about now?

Was this scary? Was it right up there with R.L. Stine or Stephen King? Or was it a homorous short story that was an interesting waste of time?

Tomorrow will be the last one on this topic.

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2009-12-02T06:30:00.004-07:00

As promised: The Mayans

Is it possible that an ancient civilization had a way to predict the end of the earth? I don't think so, but there are many who swear by their 'foretelling'.

Of course, anyone who believes this is mistaken and hasn't done much research.

In a lengthy study of this Mesoamerican culture (six months in college and a week online to refresh), it is found that the Mayans had three to an infinite number of calendars to their disposal. They were used in harmony with each other to number the days in the year and the life cycles of existance- including harvesting, pregnancies, moon cycles, lunar cycles, venus cycles, among cycles of stars (they were very astronomically oriented) and even for 260 days when the sun is in an exact rotation through the sky.

It is true however; one calendar indeed stops at December 12, 2012. Though most people panic when they read that and do not continue on.

Please, please continue on.

This was only ONE of their very important calendars and does not mean that they decided all life stopped on that day and the world would explode for some sort of second coming thing.

The Mayans had a series of dates and time periods that, when added together, coincided perfectly to make up what they believed the future would look like. With mathematical guesses based off of the 'cycles' of the past, and how it matched up with the present, they were very good at 'guessing' the future. In fact, ninety two percent of their predictions came to pass. The other eight were considered close enough and this is where they took it too far and 'made it work' by planning wars to coincide with the dates they predicted them to happen. I thought that odd that they start a war because a calendar that they created told them to, but oh well. They also did human sacrifices at calendric intervals, so I don't put much stock in their ability to 'see' the future all that much.

Eerily, and much on the flip side, all of the natural disasters they have predicted from 2600 B.C. to this last year (2009) have come true. The next insane 'calamity' as they call it, is predicted for December 12, 2012.

Does this sound familiar for that planet alignment and possible disasters discussed yesterday? Why yes, yes it does. Is something terrible going to happen? I'm inclined to think that it will be on a smaller scale than all the hype out there about the end of days, but also that something fun may happen during that alignment. And by fun, I mean possibly world altering. And by world altering, I mean parts of it. I have faith and hope that many of us will survive these catastrophies. Just like those warned about Hurricane Katrina (yes that date was entered on the Mayan calendar), we have the modern instuments at out disposal to survive much of what may or may not happen.

I do want to point out that only this calendar of the Mayans ends on that date.

Remember that they were created to be interchanged and not used individually. That was not their purpose to have one calendar for everything. They were much more complicated than that.

Several others go on for future 'guessings', but their last predicted calamity has been etched in their stones and columns for this one date. It is hard to ignore that they seriously believed they needed to tell us futurians something important.

I like to believe that as their other calendars go on, so will life. I also like to believe that perhaps there will be no more natural calamities after this as the earth will enter a rebirth from the gravitational stress it will be put under and that we will have centuries of peaceful weather-with the occasional rain and snow storm. I like rain. This theory sounds nice.

So when you come to propaganda about all life ending in 2012 or with that alignment happening, please don't take it seriously. Earth will continue as long as God wants it to. Or as long as science stays on our side- whichever you prefer to believe. Science is on both sides of this debate, and a little less reassuring than the Holy Spirit can be, but I know a few of my precious friends are Aetiests, and I respect you decision to choose for yourself. I love you extremely/insanely, and, of course, expect the same respect for my decisions.

Just don't be offended if when I pray over my lunch and I offer a prayer that you are not food-poisoned either! ;) Again, I love you insanely and that is my way of showing it!

.....................

2009-12-01T02:39:00.008-07:00

This is not posted to start a mass riot, or make you gather hordes of supplies that you may or may not need. This is just something that I have been hearing a lot about and decided to finally comment on. Take as you will. ;)

Part one:

Stockpile of medical supplies

There is a warning for those of you that are easily 'spooked' by stuff like this:

Read at your own risk.

Another Y2K scare is making its rounds and people are starting to stockpile necessities. Only this time, it's not being called Y2K; it's being called 2012, and the hysteria is much worse than a bug in a computer. This one is environmental as much as it is spiritual and ancient. More people are scared for many more different reasons. Mostly because any of the hype surrounding it is actually believable.

First, you must realize that the fear over the year 2012 comes from many different sects with many different theories about what will actually happen. After scouring the Internet on this subject for months, I can honestly say that I have a pretty good idea what these theories are.

The first is solely scientifically based:

In the year 2012, the planets and sun will align in perfect synchronization for about thirty seconds. This is fact, and it is documented in science buildings across the world. The hypothesis about the effects, however, are as astounding as they are scary. The almost science/fictional reality has people running around screaming 'doomsday' at every turn.

The reason I'm actually writing about it is because there are a lot more of them than ever before. And not all of them are certifiable nuts this time.

Some believe that the gravitational pull from this once-in-a-million-years alignment will cause severe damage to this planet that we call home. Many of the most intelligent minds around have gotten together to discuss this seriously. Their conclusions are heart-stopping.

They have decided that anywhere from seventy percent to one hundred percent of the earth will be severely destroyed by natural disasters and earth quakes. All are convinced that advanced society as we know it will be wiped out and that only those prepared have a chance of making it.

The gravitational pull is said to cause tsunamis and earthquakes, and interrupt the natural stages of the world's volcanoes, causing them to explode simultaneously. The whole earth may even be ripped apart by the immense gravitational pull of the larger celestial bodies surrounding us. We could be wiped out altogether.

There are mathematical figures for this that pretty much confirm exactly that. I'm sorry, I don't have them with me at the moment (double checks and pats down her pockets). Nope.

Another scientific theory is that the sun at that time will have an incredible solar flair that will scorch the planets' surfaces and kill all life on ours for miles into the earths crust. Nothing will survive in this theory either, and there is more of that math involved.

What I found really interesting is that several of the world powers have known about this for decades (1979 being one of the earliest I remember at the moment), and while these theories insist that there is no safe place to hide, many countries have decided they don't think it will be as devastating as the numbers suggest. They are currently taking many precautions to be 'safe' through the disaster and stock piling provisions to survive in a post modern world. They will have their comforts for years as they wait out what they believe will be righted in a short time. At which point I jokingly ask "Does anyone remember the dinosaurs?" Surely the earth won't heal as fast as they are 'hoping' if this is going to happen.

Of course no one is telling the public because 'we're not intelligent enough to handle such news'.

China (yes the country) has started (not too secretly obviously) building and then burying hundreds of self sufficient bunkers loaded with supplies these last few years in efforts to save as many of their government figures as possible.

This is also going on here; in the United States. The previous bunkers for the president were deemed 'not good enough' and new ones have been started. Oh, but we are not the only ones. Countries across the globe have been doing this for years without the rest of us knowing.

This scare has truly reached some of the most sophisticated people in the world, who have then gone on to do their own research to prove it for themselves, only to concur with what they've already been told. This is 'real' they all insist. Many have even started their own 'the end is coming-let me help you prepare' propaganda for those of us less enlightened.

I don't doubt that something may happen when that alignment occurs, but let me have a little hope that it won't be the Mayan's 'end of the world prophecy' coming to pass. I have a year's supply of food ready... but for very different reasons. It was handy between jobs a few years ago. ;)

This post is merely a comment on fact and fiction. This was an interesting read for me. Definitely a book worth- wait it wasn't a science fiction book; that's right now I remember.
For further information you can google 2012 on your own. Millions of websites. There is too much, however, and I will be commenting on very few parts of it in different blogs.

Tomorrow: Did the Mayans know more than we do?

What do you think about all of this? Will we be wiped out? Will a few manage to survive? Or is this just another over-hyped Y2K scare? I'm eagerly listening.

...................

2009-11-26T23:00:00.004-07:00

HAPPY THANKSGIVING!!!!

Growth.
Tastes change... a little food for thought after that food-filled holiday.
-No, real food for thought! ;)

I'm growing and entering another phase of my life. Or so my tastebuds are saying!

Food is interesting. Food is different and varying. It may not change, but preferance toward any one particular food does.

It's fun to notice that I suddenly like something that wasn't very good before. It is an interesting mouthful when my mouth hands me a delicious surprise in an unexpected food source.

I've never really liked chocolate. It tastes burnt to me; all the time, whatever the brand-and I've had some of the best brands in the world thanks to precious friends who are sure its just a brand thing.
I've now had kids... I find I like it once a month and for a few days it doesn't taste as burnt as it does the rest of the month. I prefer Lindt, Swiss, and German chocolates at those times; usually dark, and smooth like mousse; so the inside of truffles. ;)

I used to hate all meat until I was sixteen. Then I only liked corned beef brisket, and it had to be with the cooked cabbage to help with the aftertaste I wasn't used to in meat. I started eating burgers in high school after that. I only liked the ones from the fast food chains... so was that really meat? lol

After having kids, I like lots of meats. Not pig too much as I seem to have an allergy to pork and it makes me sick. Weird, but I prefer turkey bacon anyway; no clear fat posing as meat -its all meat! ;)

Chinese food used to smell like puke to me. No joke, I hated the stuff; I hated to walk by restaurants that sold the stuff!
Now I love it! It is one of my favorite things to eat and I can't seem to get enough of the really good, thick low mein noodles. The best! I also really like the crab puffs with cream cheese and chives. I could eat several of those for dinner only and be very happy!

I still do not like bird. Any kind of bird related animal, it is awful. On turkey day I am not a very happy person when we're gathered around a table of terrible food. Stuffing is too dry and so are the mashed potatoes; thank God for that gravy that goes everywhere!
I still refuse the bird, it isn't salvagable.

I used to love lasagna more than anything in the world. Now I can barely stand it every other month or so. Sometimes I wonder if having kids was the reason everything changed, but the meat came on slowly, so....

I never have and still don't like cake. I'm picky about brownies and any sort of sweet bread. I had some applebread the other day. It was the only time I asked for a second piece. It was homemade and had crumbles on top! Yum!

I do not like any candybar on the market except for the York peppermint patty. I don't like most candy out there, but love hard candy when its made right. I also do not like toppings on my icecream, or sweet icecream... I like the fruit and nut flavors in my sweet vanilla. Pistachio and watermelon and whole strawberries in a suger cone are my favorite.

I love nachos. And mostly all Mexican/Spanish foods! My favorite, mouth watering foods are in this catagory!

I used to love vegetables. Now I like only a handful. I still love salads. Lettuce is usually good everywhere (Chinese food and Spanish etc!) If you can sneak it onto a veggie platter, I always prefer fresh with dip. Yum!

Fresh is always something I enjoy. Platters of fresh fruits and vegetables are always my favorite at gatherings, and, for me, make up for that poor bird each year. :)

I'm pickier now that I've moved away from the midwest. There are no good Chinese food places or suitable Spanish/Mexican food places up here. Since I don't count Taco Bell, I'm really lost. We live next to a farm, but I've found that if you don't eat the food that day, it goes really bad really fast. The fridge doesn't help either... I think they do it on purpose to bring you back everyday. ;)

I do not like soda. The bubbles burn my mouth and throat. In high school I loved it and downed a mountain dew a day. Now my preferred drink is water with a side of strawberry milkshake! Yum!!! Or when I'm cold, French Vanilla hot chocolate. ;)

Cornnuts. A favorite snack from childhood, it is one of the few things that have secured their place in adulthood as well. Too bad they don't sell them back east. ;)

So many different kinds of food out there, it really makes me happy for the variety. I would hate to be stuck with chocolate cake as the only taste out there. Yuck!

And those bad tastes always make me happy when I find a good one again. I like change... until I have lots of eggrolls in the freezer and then decide I don't like them anymore. lol Happened a few times... luckily they last until I decide I like them again! Funny how life works like that.

I must admit that life is like this as well. Different things at different times call to me and then don't later. It is fun to switch back and forth. A little fung shui livens up an otherwise droll living space. Or varying tastebuds ;)

Variety. The tasty spice of... life!

..................

2009-11-21T23:40:00.004-07:00

Life Happens. Unfortunately.

I am glad it doesn't happen alone. I love you all very much.

It amazes me how fleeting life is. We have all been given the precious gift of life, but few of us are only given a limited amount of time to experience this joy. I miss those that have already gone on.

In this late hour, I find that I am very blessed and felt the need to show my gratitude for such blessings. I truly have the honor of knowing some really great people. I do not know why this is, but I am grateful that there are so many truly wonderful people in my life.

Perhaps it is just me. People have told me on more than one occasion that I have a large heart. I prefer to think that I have just been blessed to know extraordinarily wonderful people. Truly no one has been so greatly blessed with precious acquaintances and friends as I. Each one of you on here I hold in the same high respect. Thank you for helping me with my dream.

Thank you also for being my friend. Know that you are loved, and now even more appreciated as I think how this last one was ripped away so unceremoniously. I hope they know how much I deeply loved them. I think they did. I'm a very expressive person when it comes to my feelings towards people.

I posted a few weeks ago about silver and gold friends. More of you are gold than you likely think. I want you to know this. I know this is a very impersonal way of trying to tell you, and I wish there was a way I could meet with you and take you out to lunch to tell you personally how much you mean in my life, but as I am very far away from most of you, this will have to suffice. If I have you number, expect a call. I am determined.

Truly, whether brief visits on the computer while we chat, or notes left in electronic boxes, or if I have the rare privilege of seeing you new ones here in New York, know that I cherish deeply the chance to be your friend and share a part of your life. Thank you very much for choosing to be in mine. Know that I don't take our friendship-no matter how slight-granted in any way. You are precious to me.

And now more than ever. I love you. Such a strong sentiment, I do NOT mean it lightly. Perhaps this may scare you to hear, but I need to say it more than I need to worry that you never heard it when you're gone (heaven forbid, as I can't bear to lose more of you so soon).

While my eyes mist yet again, know that I rejoice in our friendships. I rejoice wonderfully to see, hear, and think of you.

I need to go now. This has been a very trying night. It makes me happy to remember that heaven is where we will all end up and that I will see them again.

Please remember in my boasting that I don't believe that a God who says He loves us as much as He says he does can possibly have created a place of such punishment as the one referred to with fire and brimstone. Though that may be preferable to the truly evil as they feel the remorse for their actions are worse than a little heat. And if Adolf Hitler wasn't truly evil, I know I will see all my friends in a happier place than this earth.

I wish I had the words tonight to express how I feel in greater depth. I am hurting, and loving all at the same time, and it is hard to find the words to express all I wish to say. Truly, there are not words, I am sure of this. I love you is too weak, and to say you are precious to me is not enough for the feelings that swell within my heart. Tears of gratitude to know you are falling.

I send you luvs and hugs and prayers that you know how precious and loved you are. For truly, deeply you are loved.

...............

2009-11-19T21:58:00.004-07:00

Giggles are our home's most precious natural resource.

Our schools are trying to force the parents to spend more time with their kids. I'm not sure it is working, but the things they send home in that effort are insane for public school projects.

Our little family is always doing some craft together when we're done with our lessons. Kindergarten changed that for both my girls when the teacher started sending home a two foot by one and a half foot silhouette of that month's special decoration. This month was a giant turkey.

Now the rules to decorate are very simple. You cannot use pencils, colored pencils, pens, markers, crayons, chalk, paint, and are encouraged to use a lot of glue so it withstands hanging in the hall for the rest of the month.

Which begs the question: What exactly can we use?

The same teacher two years in a row, we had to get creative when it came to making individual gobblers for the wall. My children decided they didn't like the macaroni the other kids were doing, and that their precious stickers looked better put in their sticker albums than on the albino turkey paper. Buttons were nice... but "only for the eyes, mommy." was repeated when we went through the button box.

A trip through Walmart for the first year was fun because funds were plenty and the fabric department had the prettiest pink shiny fabric. Child number one had decided she didn't want any old turkey, but a 'pretty princess turkey'. Pink and lavender fabric was the first thing in the cart. Then she found the jewels. It was bedazeled as soon as it was finished being put together.

The second child was given her turkey in a rougher time. The basement had just been ruffled through, and since she wanted a 'fall' turkey, she was very happy with the 'recycled' never-been-used before ribbon that had been sitting in the harvest decorations for years. I was remiss to lose it to a kindergarten creation, but with the way her eyes lit up, there was no refusing. Her masterpiece is her favorite 'pet' and she trotted around the house with it until we had to send it in with her the next school day.

These projects took about six hours each and taught my children new skills. They now had experience with adult scissors, needles and thread and sewing (oh my!), tape, tracing, and the dreaded gluegun. The first was only burned once, but that was all the second needed to see to be able not to repeat that mistake when it came her turn. First was very brave and didn't cry once.

We had so much fun making these precious creations because we were able to do them together. The time spent is something I will cherish forever. I know they will never forget either, and will pull the creation out of whatever box they will end up in when they move out. It will be their precious souvenier and a reminder to make those moments with their children.

We still craft even now. They aren't as extravagant and do include the taboo writing utensils, but the time creating them is why they're made. They may not last like the first ones, but I know that the memories will.

What do you think? Did we do a good job? Do you like the princess boots and pretty frills? The girls ideas were what created these, I only pointed where I thought each tuck and pinch and needle poke should go. They were and are just five years old after all! Toddlers made these, but love designed the smiles next to them.

Do you have any stories like this, or a cherished moment with a parent/guardian/adult? I would love to hear what made you smile and how the event/memory has influenced your life.

Next month will be a Christmas tree. Any ideas for it that I may pass on to my current five-year-old? She only says no to half my suggestions, and I'm sure if it is a great idea, she'll jump at it. Let me know.

.......................

2009-11-18T00:38:00.014-07:00

Meet the sterling rose.
How many of you remember these?

Purple roses add enchantment to the receiver's life according to rose color meanings.
I'm glad to think I added magic to my friends' lives all those years.

I am starting to see God's warning about making a garden come to pass. Bananas, however, are a little hard to cultivate in the snow visited north.

For decades the prophets of my church have been telling us to go grow a garden. It is cheap, economical, promotes happiness, and builds character in the children you want to raise. At my parents' house I was brought up cultivating the garden, and was often sent out to do weeds whenever mom was mad at me.

I was lucky though. I had the resident green thumb and was always trying to grow something anyway. Most of the crop would be lost when I went to girls camp and the vines withered in the hot Arizona sun because someone forgot to water them. I would try again when I got back, but then a frost would kill the rest before spring.

The rose bush survived. This coveted sterling rosebush was a gift from my grandmother to my mother. It was silvery-purple in color and smelling like heaven's own personal bouquet. Though it was dying by the time I decided to have pity on it.

Placed in the shade, and surviving several years of neglect and torture, it was better able to withstand a week or two of being forgotten. It would get very sick while I was away on vacations or at camp, but it always hung in there just long enough for me to be able to return and try to help it get healthy again.

After a few months I was getting the most beautiful blossoms. I was the cultivator of these, and when I had to snip some off to save the bush from feeding too many buds and not itself, they became precious gifts for friends who meant a lot to me. Each morning a handful of these sterling beauties would get to come with me to school only to be passed out to dear friends. My friends liked this. Their faces would light up and a smile would be shared all because I tried to help in the garden. I watched as this simple gesture made their day better.

Gardens have a way of spreading joy, and most of the time what you reap will bring a smile to another's face too. There's just something about a plot of land filled with nature's miracles that makes a person feel good.

Though I admit that most people prefer this bounty cleaned, cut, prepped, and put on the dining room table in a vase, or with butter, ranch or bacon bits. But it had to start somewhere. Remember that next time you go grocery shopping or eat a salad at a restaurant.

So the prophets knew what they were talking about. Who knew. I was happier out there, and I was able to make other people happier without having to spend a dime. Nice.

Now how do I convince the landlady here to grant me such a privilege? So far its been a no. Hmmm.

What about you? Do you have any gardening stories? Any peculiar bugs in said gardening? Or is the whole thought of getting dirty repulsive to you and you prefer someone else to handle that for you? I tell you, I used gloves. Bugs were not my favorite either.

And lastly, are you any good at gardening? Anymore 'greenthumbs' out there? I really want to know. :)

...............

2009-11-14T16:01:00.000-07:00

Sometimes he just wants a hug!

I entered another contest. This one was brought to my attention by my dog loving aunt. 2000k words or less, send in a fictional dog story; no talking dogs please (and I'm assuming this also means no super powers!)! bummer.

What do you think?

Blessings come in all shapes and sizes… and species….

Tap. Tap. Tap.

Jamie was trying very hard not to let the noise get to him.

He knew he needed to be extra good today.

Tap. Tap. Tap.

Jamie bit the inside of his cheek to keep quiet. He tried

the breathing exercise his mother had suggested to help

him concentrate. In. Out. In. Out. In-

Tap. Tap. Tap.

“WOULD YOU STOP THAT ALREADY?!?”

Jamie gasped.

All eyes landed on Kelly. Her face red and her hands

clenched tight, she was the one who had jumped up

and yelled.

Jamie was relieved. At least he wasn’t in trouble.

He’d still get his treat.

Kelly, realizing what she’d just done, immediately

covered her mouth in her horror.

“I’m sorry,” she mumbled through her palms. “I’m

so sorry!”

“Are you trying to kill him?” Bridget mumbled.

Alex, who had stopped tapping at his cousin’s

outburst, just smiled politely.

“Nah, it’s cool. I didn’t even notice I was doing it.”

He laughed weakly and put the pencil down after

filling in one last answer.

“But are you okay?” Kelly asked carefully. “Or did

I make it worse?”

The bedroom was silent as everyone waited for the

answer.

“Guys,” Alex sighed exasperatedly. “I told you;

I’m not that bad! I’m not a bubble, and I won’t

pop at the slightest outburst. Geez! Relax a little.”

He rolled his eyes.

Kelly was only convinced because he chastised

them. If he wasn’t, he would’ve waved a hand

and looked out the window. That was his tell.

She sat back down. “’Kay. Just stop with the

pencil thing,” she tried to make it a joke. “It’s

sooo annoying.” She managed a wry smile

for the invalid.

Alex reached behind his head to scratch his neck.

“Yeah,” he said sheepishly. “Sorry again.”

The bedroom door opened.

“Is everything alright?” Mom asked carefully. “I

thought I heard a commotion.” Her eyes landed

on Jamie.

Jamie fidgeted a bit. “I didn’t do it,” he said

immediately.

Mom frowned. “Uh-huh.”

“No really, Aunt Sarah. Jamie didn’t do anything,”

Alex promised.

“It was Kelly,” Bridget blabbed on her twin easily.

She owed her for taking the top she wanted to wear

today without her permission.

Kelly glared at her. Bridget didn’t mind; they were

even now.

Mom’s eyes finished the once-over on Alex.

“Well okay then,” she said slowly. She entered the

room with the tray she had been holding.

“I thought the study group would like a snack,” she

said with a big smile.

Peanut butter and Jelly sandwiches, celery sticks,

and apple slices filled it. There were even four

glasses of milk; it wasn’t a snack, it was a mid-afternoon

feast!

“I was thinking,” Mom said as she passed everything

out. “After this, would you like to move outside for a

bit?” Her eyes watched Alex for any signs of fatigue;

just in case.

“That would be great, Aunt Sarah,” he said eagerly.

“Can we go to the pond?” Jamie spoke up.

“Yes Jamie,” Mom promised. “I even have a bag of

stale bread ready; just like I promised.” She smiled

at her youngest son warmly.

“Yes!” Jamie exclaimed. His arm and elbow tucked

in his victory.

The feast was over in record time and Alex even ate

a few more things than expected. Mom returned

with his wheel chair before the last apple slice was

finished.

It was immediately scarfed down by Kelly, who

had snatched it before Bridget-only after she saw

her twin going for it. Tongues were exchanged with

narrowed eyes.

The procession to the pond at the edge of the property

was a lengthy one as mom had to push her adopted

nephew over the rough grassy terrain to get there.

The other three were dancing around-running, screaming,

doing cartwheels; simply feeling great about being

outdoors after the three hour homework session

they’d just finished.

Alex hadn’t seen the backyard since he’d returned

from the hospital three weeks ago. Now he was

watching the bright blue sky, interesting wildlife, and

funny cousins with wide excited eyes. His nose tickled

with the sweet smelling scents of the flower garden,

and the tart, but pleasant smell of the nearby citrus trees.

“We put a bench in while you were away,” Mom says

with enthusiasm.

“We were hoping you’d get to use it before it got

visited by the birds.”

Alex grinned. Those ducks would poop anywhere!

Jamie reached it first.

“Its safe!” he declared for everyone who hadn’t run

ahead with him. “No yuckiness!” He grinned, quite

pleased with himself.

Alex was carefully placed on the bench, his blankets

tucked just right in case any particular ‘light’ breeze

was too much. Mom wasn’t taking any chances.

Jamie grabbed the bread from the back of the chair

with excitement and, after thoughtfully depositing a

few slices in Alex’s lap, ran off around the pond,

flinging bits and pieces on his merry way.

“Mo-om,” Kelly complained, “Jamie’s not sharing!”

Mom sat down next to Alex. “Are you sure you

deserve to pass out bread?” she commented quietly.

Kelly's angry outburst earlier wasn't the

first time she had been in trouble today.

Kelly flushed, but didn’t answer back. She turned

around and ran off after her brother instead.

Mom grinned. She hoped her daughter caught her

son anyway.

Kelly did, and was immediately handed a single slice

of bread. Mom tried not to laugh at her sour expression.

That wouldn’t be very motherly of her.

Bridget was sitting on the grass.

“You brought a book,” Mom said, not really surprised.

“Kendra almost figured it out,” Bridget said excitedly.

“It’s a beautiful day, sweetheart. Maybe Sean and

Kendra can take a little break? Maybe for you to

lap the pond a few times? Please?” Mom pleaded

with a knowing grin.

“Okay,” Bridget consented unwillingly. She bookmarked

her page and laid it on the chair. Then she stood up and

raced off for the required laps, determined to get back

to her book as fast as possible.

Mom watched a goose saunter up to Alex’s bread

crumbs. He’d already scattered several.

“Look, Aunt Sarah!” he whispered excitedly.

“Wow!” she breathed back. It was the largest goose

she’d seen, and almost perfectly snow-white in coloring.

“I bet he would taste yummy for dinner,” she teased her

new son with some country humor.

“Awww! Aunt Sarah!” he whined. “Gross!”

Mom ruffled his hair. He was going to be just fine once

this remission was confirmed, she thought for the

thousandth time. This place was perfect with all the fresh

air, but she worried being so far from the hospital.

Mom decided it was too quiet and looked up to find the

other three. Not a single child was around the pond.

Not even the anxious Bridget.

“Alex, will you be okay if I take a small walk?”

Alex rolled his eyes. “I promise not to let any geese

eat me," he said sarcastically.

Mom set off with a grin.

After circling the small pond, she heard something just

inside the treeline. She sighed in her relief. She had

found them.

Walking into the forest that bordered the property,

Mom found all three of her children suspiciously huddled

together.

“Oh, no,” she said as soon as she saw the subject of

their disappearance. “You know how Dad doesn’t like

those things.”

“Awww mom! Please?” Jamie begged.

“We’ll take good care of him, and-”

“-Make sure he gets walked all the time,” Bridget

promised in tandem with Kelly.

“But where will he sleep?” Mom started with the

obvious questions. “And what if he’s not house-trained?”

“We can train him easy!” Bridget said. “I just read a

book on how a girl did it in forty-eight hours!”

Heaven forbid I argue with a book, Mom thought with

a small smile. She always was a softee.

“Yes!” Jamie celebrated prematurely. Mom thought

it too cute how he could read her so well.

Just then the dog took off barking insanely. The kids

hopped up and scrambled after him screaming and

laughing with giddiness. Mom turned and trotted after

them.

Mom’s heart stopped once she cleared the trees.

The bench was empty.

In full sprint now, she passed all three children in record

time.

“Alex,” she gasped once she reached his side. She turned

him over. “Alex, are you okay? Can you hear me? Blink

twice for yes.”

Alex blinked once. “I’m… okay,” he managed, and

blinked a second time for her. “Just… got really… tired…

and… fell off?” He grinned in weak amusement up at

her.

Mom sighed in relief for the second time that afternoon.

She gathered him up in her arms and started for the

house, forgetting the chair. She had called... the doctor had said that it

would be alright… she didn’t understand how this

could happen!

“The dog helped,” Kelly spoke in a whisper. “He knew

and he helped us.”

“He’s a superhero,” Jamie added wisely.

“But will that be enough?” Bridget wondered aloud

for them.

There was no answer, but the dog wasn’t turned away

when they all started filing in the house.

He’s worse. Mom repeated the doctor’s prognosis

in her head for the hundredth time: The cancer had

reached his lungs, the chemo hadn’t helped. He was

going to die.

The kids had been put to bed, and she was watching

her sleeping nephew with pained anxiety. She was grateful

they were able to bring the hospital home this time. Support

machines surrounded him.

Just then the dog sauntered in. He had been bathed

and his collar polished. Calls had been placed on the

corresponding answering machine shortly after. The

owners were sure to pick up such a beautifully cared for

dog. Mom knew he was a Labrador Retriever. Black in

coloring, he matched the kind she’d had when she was

young.

The dog walked right up to the boy’s bed and put his

nose on the edge.

He whimpered a bit.

Mom would have smiled if she wasn’t so upset.

“Thank you,” she said to him. She rubbed behind his

ears. “I guess you can stay until-” mom broke off as

the next sob engulfed her throat. Meaning ‘until…

your owners show up’ had gotten mixed up

with the thought of her son’s future. She cried for a

long time.

When she stopped, she looked back at the dog. He

was still whimpering.

“You need a name,” she decided. The kids were

already in bed, but-

“How about… Zachary,” said a weak voice from the

pillow.

Mom’s eyes flew. “Alex?”

There was silence for a long moment, with only the

dog’s whimpering filling it.

“I’m fine,” came back the hesitant reply. “It’s really…

hard… to breathe.”

“You’re hooked up to the machine,” mom said, quickly

checking the wiring.

The dog made a louder noise and his nose pushed at

something on the bed.

The line was not connected there.

“Good Dog!” mom said as she got out the rubbing

alcohol to swab it and then put it back together.

“Goooood dog!”

Alex took a long, assisted breath. “Much better,” he

sighed.

“That’s twice, you know,” mom said. “He’s helped

you twice now.”

Alex looked at the dog.

“Thank you Zachary,” he said with wonderful politeness.

Zachary barked once and licked the boy’s hand. Alex

laughed weakly. Color filled his cheeks. He looked

like it was the best present in the world to get covered

in dog slobber.

The days following were long and hard on the family,

but whenever Zachary made Alex laugh there was hope.

Days turned into weeks, and weeks turned into months,

and finally Alex was ready for chemo again. This was

amazing to everyone who had heard the doctor’s

prognosis. Surely the boy playing tug-o-war with the dog

out back was not the same one wheeled across the

grass so long ago. Mom knows he wouldn’t be without

the help of that dog beside him. She very firmly believes

that it was God that sent him to them, especially after

learning that Zachary’s previous owners had died in a car

crash the day before he showed up. That canine was

their hero; and now, with a ‘proper’ name, a beloved

member of this patchwork family.

Do you think this will win? I won't know until spring sometime, from what I can tell. Is it good enough?

...................

2009-11-12T17:22:00.001-07:00

Perfection

It amazes me how complex the world is. Something seemingly simple turns out to be the most complex and intricate thing. The world is full of experiences as diverse as each precious snowflake. Each unique in voice, but delicate in detail. I love it.

I never thought that getting a book published would involve so many people. I have had a handful of English lit majors tear it apart for me for grammatical errors. Now I am handing it off for story discrepancies. I am very excited to see how it will turn out when we're done. This is truly a part of being a writer that I like; unlike the dreaded query process.

I'm worried that throughout the process to get to where it really stands alone, the people helping me will lose interest along the way. Of course, a truly good book should last through that process... Right?

For now I'm just trying to have a lot of fun. Things get pointed out that I had edited and changed so many times that they no longer fit together cohesively (word of the week btw), and its a fun trip around the amusement park as I try to make the scene flow as well on paper as it did in my thoughts.

I am not going to change everything they ask of me. My book has a voice I don't want lost. But I also want to succeed and sometimes that doesn't happen alone. Like I've been saying in some of my previous posts: People need people. That is the wonderful thing about life and the strange nuances that come up. Each person is a snowflake; unique in their talent as the points on each precious crystal. I like how these points show a different direction at every advance. I like the many avenues my story can take.

I'm very grateful for my people. I truly have been blessed. Somehow, some way, someone-indeed many someones- is/are looking out for me. I love you all very much. Remember that. New followers or old, editors or story fixers, you are helping me very very much. Thank you.

I truly love being a writer. It is one of the many life's songs that call to me, and I hear it crystal clear. There is a song in my writing. I simply have to find it. Just like the varied points on that snowflake up there, there are lots of ways to see this story. I am looking for the one that sings perfectly.

It's a good thing there are so many different ways it can do that.

.......................

2009-11-05T20:19:00.000-07:00

Teaser for:

Jewel discovered

Seventeen-year-old Julia is a nonhuman. She just doesn't know it yet.

For the first time in their lives, Julia and her cousin finally seem to be having some good luck and embark immediately on a free cruise. Julia, on a never-ending quest to cater to her cousin's happiness, has no problem trying to make this the best experience Carey's ever had and easily encourages her to enroll in all the ship's pampering spas listed in the cruise ship's pamphlets. Julia, not a fan of such things, takes the time to satiate her desire to explore the vast ship.

While on her own in the ship's inner bowels, Julia meets someone that is a little more intense than she wanted in her preferred solitude. This chance acquaintance ends up changing her in ways she never imagined and she finds herself suddenly thrust into a world she never knew existed before -a world that has apparently been waiting for her for a very long time. Not ever having a lesson in propriety Julia decides her heart is more important than the whims of a moldy old prophecy. But she's going to find that convincing the object of her desire, who is a little more deeply rooted against her than she wants, may be impossible if she can't figure out these new powers of hers.

At least she's not a nonhuman anymore... no, now she's an inhuman -and completely in love with the forbidden ancient creature.

.........................

Isn't this exciting?!? How fun does it really sound? I mean, WHAT is a nonhuman or inhuman? And she... changes?!! How? She gets new powers? And she can't use them? Why?

Awww! She fell in love! With who? Or should I ask what? Hehe, this sounds like so much fun! I can't wait for the rest of you to read it and tell me what you think. Does this tease you enough to crack the proverbial spine for a further peek?

I hope it attracts a few people who can help me publish it. Wish me luck!

...........................

2009-11-05T13:00:00.000-07:00

I received another no.

Well, this one was more like a 'no not right now' kind of thing.

AN AGENT STOPPED BY MY SITE!!!!

This blog; right here! I wish wish wish! she would have posted her comment here, but it is in my email right now. I had forgotten I even queried her it has been so long..., September, actually since I queried her. I gave her this blog as is custom with new writers to show extra pieces they've written. My extras are these blogs.

Anyway, she also had my email, since it was an email query that I sent, and when she rejected me, it was not the usual form rejections she usually gives. I was pleased at least, for that.

Imagine my surprise when she casually mentions this blog! She loves the posts and thinks I have talent! I love praises!

She also likes the idea of my book, but says (and being that I sent her it in September I totally agree with her) that it needs to be refined and honed a bit. Since then, the first chapter has been so drastically changed that it is completely different to the one I sent her. So again, I agree.

She saw that I don't have very many followers. She understands that I have just opened this blog as I say it in my query.

In January she will return to see if those numbers are up. I have a deadline people!!! Ack!

Now I know that the numbers are all about how well my writing can sell. If I can do well on my own, she believes that with the proper publicity she will be able to do even better for me. It is all about money. I understand this.

So I am desperately asking you to find your friends, you family, your acquaintances and every homeless person to stop by briefly to post that they publicly follow me. I do not mind if you or they use nicknames, pseudonyms, or their cat's name, just please take up space over there! Its a numbers game, and if all else fails, then I will have this one agent come back in January to see great numbers. I really hope it doesn't come down to her, but at the same time I'm not going to ignore her precious advice!

I know hundreds of people. I have asked hundreds of people to help me. I have 23 precious followers that I am grateful for. Please lets get that number up a few hundred. I only have a few months. I want to get published. Will you help me?

So awful that I have to ask. So excited what it could mean if this works. And still anxious about that contest I entered yesterday. Many emotions. One novel completed.

Wish me luck. And to you precious angels out there willing to help... good luck to you, and please remember to have them post that they follow publicly. If they don't not even I will know they've visited.

I send you off with a near anxiety attack and lots of hope!

....................

2009-11-05T10:07:00.000-07:00

And the dance begins again....

I am utterly fascinated with my book. So strange it seems to me that my writing in it can be so great when my blogs and short stories seem so dull and droll to me. The storyline is delightful and engaging and captivates my attention no matter where I pick it up again.

Though I admit that after months of nit picking and doing my best to make it better I thought the story lagged after a bit. Now, coming back after a month and a half sabbatical, I find it just as riveting as when I first wrote it. Fresh eyes and a very forgetful memory truly help bring out the colors that had faded after such long scrutiny.

Well, we all know I like my book.

What surprises me is that I made money off some of my lesser quality work. I wonder why someone would pay to read my basement story. I with mixed feelings say that it is the first of three that got published. I was even paid for it. Happy to be paid, sad that it was not my best work.

I guess my biggest qualm is that agents do not read any of the book an author is trying to sell these days. They expect to be riveted after a two paragraph tease. These only pan out to be best sellers about five percent of the time. And half of the best sellers are not the money makers that they wanted them to be and are never reprinted.

With such a gamble in the market I wonder how they make a living that way. And how many wonderful books they are passing up because, while a writer can spin a story, condensing it into two paragraphs is not always as easy as spinning a world of fantasy. There is so much more I want to say than will fit in the required query.

Sorry. I am sure you've heard this before from me, but it really makes me upset to know that I have so much to give and no way to give it. I need one of those interns to read my book and beg their boss for me. I heard those interns are pretty smart! Some know a best seller better than the people they work for.

Maybe it's those fresh eyes again.

Or maybe its because they have the time to dive into the incredible pages that were sent to the slush pile. Stephanie Meyers was discovered by an intern, and look at her now. She has her third book in production and her second will be in theaters soon.

Sigh. I believe I have the storytelling gene that makes a great book, yet I know I lack a masters or any degree in literature.

Though in my defense the best story tellers were awful writers. And yes, that thought does make me feel better when I'm very far down.

What really gets me is that I know I have a great book. I have been reading novels since I was five years old and started Nancy Drew in kindergarten. I have graduated to more advanced books as I grew and still love to delve into the minds of fascinating characters. I know what a good book should look like. It is part of who I am to know this. And this first book is one I would read (and do!) over and over again.

Yes. My book is a solid book and does not lack. I like that about a book. It is also long. I love it even more when a great story isn't cut short. It is fun to follow around a great character and know you have plenty of time to enjoy their adventures before getting cut off from them. It is unsettling when a character is half etched or a story rushed. I want to savor the story, but can't help gobbling them up in eager anticipation of what happens next. Long books let me bask longer in worlds of wonder. I want to bask longer.

Which brings me back to these short stories. Boring. They are boring and lack so much more than proper grammar and structure. Yet they sell because people will read something short before something long. It is easy to condense a few thousand words, but a few hundred thousand?

Granted mine is not over one eighty five, but at one eighty four sixty two, it is quite an intimidating number for the first book in a series. Harry Potter book four size equates pretty well.

All the research to write the book and then to query an agent properly fills my day. My head swims with all the information that easily seeps out through the gaps I've been unable to stop up. I have taken a break for a while, but it is time to get back up on the horse and start this trek all over again. Sigh. I am intimidated and frustrated before I've even started.

So I start this tete a tete with ill feeling and unrequited, perhaps silly, hope. Maybe this will be the charm, though I am far past three rejections at this point.

And so the dance begins again. I pray I will not trip up this time as I search for a partner to bring this tale to the shelves, and then in further hopes, your homes and minds.

Wish me luck!

........................

2009-10-29T08:53:00.000-07:00

It was a long night.

Not exactly what you want to hear when someone relives a party for you. Vicariously asked earlier, I am still not sure if the person asking really wants to know. It was a long night.

It starts out fun... she begins ominously....

A night before the big event I've been planning for weeks, my family spends six hours setting up several totes full of Halloween decorations. There are things in the bins that were long forgotten in the heaps of over excess that piled up over the years. Most were welcomed presents from after holiday sales that were lovingly 'thinking of you when I saw this' gifts and so forth.

New squeals and coos over the fun things procured echo around the large cultural hall as each one is displayed. That 'bewitching sign' needs a spot, and hubby rushes around to find a hook strong enough to hold it. The girls are in a corner giggling over the spider web they are attempting to smother the walls in. It will need to be redone, but they're harmlessly preoccupied so they aren't disturbed right now.

After I finished unloading the bins, I realize that there is still much to do. Luckily I have someone helping. And she has her husband, too. We scuttle around merrily in quite the festive mood.

But it is late and the kids have school in the morning.

I grudgingly get up from my cramped position, still excited for the party I spent hours starting to decorate for. We pile into the van with a promise to return after the kids are dropped off the next day. I privately vow to come armed with much pain medicine as I am determined to move around the next day whatever my insides decree.

Somehow the next day starts off busier than we wanted. The breaks on the van failed last night on our way home and we drifted down a steep hill on the way back to our street. Dangerous, hubby immediately sets to work to remedy the fiasco before we have to use it again. Thank goodness the kids ride a bus to school.

The van isn't finished until the kids get home. We saved two hundred dollars because of hubby's diverse and, never ceasing to amaze me, mechanical ingenuity. He really is quite diversified.

The kids' homework thrown aside, we rush to the store to pick up the last minute perishables for the dinner that night. Salad, dressing, and bread get shoved into a cart and hastily rushed through check out only to find we are late. The decorations are only half up and guests will arrive in twenty minutes.

It takes twenty five to get to the church.

Luckily I have a co-hostess for the event. She has wisely stuffed half my decorations in a classroom and finished setting up what was pulled out. her husband spent hours setting up the giant crepe paper spider web that hangs over all the tables. It is fantastic and adds an ambiance that is perfect.

Salad is thrown in the mammoth bowl and rushed to the table with the skeleton hand claw tongs only to find that the ranch is missing. Hubby takes off with the girls. I was needed to start labeling chili and cornbread for the contests. The judges would be eating out of numbered bowls and each crock needed to be filed and listed properly.

I am halfway through numbering the bowls when I frown. I'm a little upset to think we can judge the chili, but we weren't allowed to pass out best costume awards. In fact I'm really upset as I had some cute light up hats I could pass out for the four winners.

I sigh and finish cataloging the chili grudgingly.

A seventeen year old wins second place with her first ever chili. It was really good I remember. She should have won first. The other one had too many beans.

I am in severe pain despite the many pills I had taken, so hubby takes the girls on the walk around to the cars outside. As I hand over the camera I beg him to take lots of pictures of the girls. He rushes off with a kiss, promising me.

An hour later I'm wondering why I'm looking at photos of people's trunks. Some didn't even decorate.

Flicking through them I immediately ask "Where are the girls?"

I don't get an answer as he rushes off to help cleanup, grumbling that someone took his food while he was away. He wasn't finished yet apparently. I honestly don't even remember anyone removing it. They were very good.

We stay until ten thirty packing up the decorations and mopping the floor. We are the last to leave in my effort not to feel too guilty about not being the first to arrive. I take the time to properly sort the decorations into the totes. They will be able to go straight to the basement when we get home.

Home at last, I remember the appointment I made earlier to call a friend to discuss the giant package I received in the mail that day. Apparently it is my birthday present and I can't open it until she is on the other line to 'explain' it for me. The highlight of my day, I find not just fascinating treasures for myself, but a few things to add to my ever growing girls' wardrobes. But even better, I'm sitting down and relaxing. My friend is pleasant company.

Too tired to push an all niter, I reluctantly say goodbye and crawl upstairs. I don't even remember falling asleep. It was a long night.

Note to self: don't be in pain, and watch the car for possible attempts of self inflicted treachery in efforts to ruin parties.

The van tried hard, but I had fun in spite of its ill-timed shenanigans. I have my own power to rise above. And the next day was my birthday, so I may have used those powers a little on my behalf! ;)

.......................

Oh, and on a side note, the girls still have plenty of room to roam around in the basement after those nasty totes were stacked beautifully away. Success!

........................

2009-10-28T11:12:00.000-07:00

I just saw a post about how you should look for ways to 'volunteer' to your friends. It hit a nerve.

Friendship should never be forced. To feel like you are volunteering to help someone you call a 'friend' is far outside my way of thinking. Friends are there for each other because of the love they have in their heart for you. And you for them. Friendship should not be contingent on how well you help them.

So a friend needs someone to bring them the spare set of keys at three in the morning because they accidentally locked theirs in the car in that dark parking lot. After doing this several times I can still honestly say that the poor person is still very much my friend. It wasn't service to rescue them, it was a need to make sure they were okay. You should care for a friend so much that you don't see their trivial mistakes before you see how much pain they're in at that time. You should not be tallying what it is costing you by having to drag yourself out of bed at that ungodly hour, but succoring them in their plight.

I have actually never thought of helping friends as volunteering. I was merely attending to an acquaintance in their hours of need. We all have times that need outside help, whether we ask for help or not things happen that are sometimes out of our control.

And a true friend should never think of helping as performing some sort of divine service. This is not a game to see which one of you are the better friend. Tally marks will just create awful angst toward the person you are calling friend. When people do that, one of two things happens; either they feel bitter resentment in all that they have done more for their friend and not received in return, or they feel like they owe their friend more than they can give sometimes and end up feeling inferior in what should be a harmonious and wonderfully balanced relationship. Neither are healthy things to be thinking or feeling.

Friends do need help. People need people. That is how life is, that is how God intended it to be. Whether you believe god is a supreme being or a chance of nature, there is a reason there is not just you on this earth. Having others around gives you a chance to grow and become a better person. Whether it is seeing that perhaps you are the more helpful or the one that needs more you can become better. Keep helping and stop keeping track, or start helping back. Find ways to be the friend that you weren't in the past.

Remember this is not a race. It is a way to truly have a relationship beyond mere acquaintance. I can assure you, it is a nice feeling to know that you can be depended on to help when things get rough. And the better friend you are, though you shouldn't be a friend for this, but it is very true, the better friends you will have in return. People do return the favor better when you reach out to them with unjudging and truly pure, open arms.

Stop giving volunteer work to those you call friends and start giving your heart. Better friends come with better intentions.

.....................

2009-10-28T00:42:00.000-07:00

I'm committed to letting you know I still care.
No matter the distance: time or space.

Old rhyming songs we used to sing when we were younger were fun. There are many that followed me through to adulthood. Let me sing one in particular for you right now... I'm sure you remember it:

Make new friends, make new friends.

But keep the old.

One is silver and the others are gold!

Over the years people fall in and out of touch. There are many reasons I believe this happen, but my favorite is this:

Some people are in your life some of the time. Some people are in your life all the time. But whatever the reason they pass into your existence, I believe that there is a meaning behind the acquaintance; however brief. They need you for that amount of time they share with you. Perhaps sometimes you need them back. But I choose to know that it is not coincidence that they are there.

Friends everywhere have told me how important I am to them and their lives. Sometimes we have spent time apart after developing our friendships, but many have found their way back and declared how wonderful it was to have me around. It baffles me, but at the same times makes me happy to hear it. (Though I cannot be as cool as they say I am.) They have been so important to me in my life, it is hard to see them seeing the same thing from me in theirs.

I recently got in touch with several friends I knew way back when. I missed many of them very much. I am glad to hear from them again. There are those that are truly gold. Many silvers I knew and know, but the golds had me really sad to think of all those years away. I know they feel exactly the same. That just makes our reunion that much sweeter.

It makes me wonder what we have in store for each other in the present. Can our friendship get back to that old flame of great brightness? Are we able to do that? Or have we changed so much that it will be a simpler friendship? Commonplace and just recent events spoken in brief passing? Can we truly have the real, meaningful, heartfelt conversations like in days long past?

Only time will tell, but I am excited to find out. Friends and Family mean so much to me. I am truly blessed with such a large treasure trove of precious spirits around me.

To everyone out there that now considers me a friend or ever did consider me a friend; know that I love you and I feel blessed to know you now and back then. I will always keep a special place open in my heart that is and always will be just for you. After all, a heart can just keep growing, and mine has grown around you, enveloping you in the many chambers and rooms that I open up as I meet others. That place that you helped me create will always be there. It is, and will forever be yours. So believe me when I say that you are a part of my heart. You truly are.

Whether that room multiplies is up to us, though. I'm willing to do a little remodeling to add chambers for the new things we bond over.

Are you?

Please remember, if you aren't that's okay too. You will always have your place within. Just in case. ;)

...................

2009-10-23T16:36:00.000-07:00

Dream basement: empty

Ahhhh!

There is something wonderful about a job well done. The feeling of empowerment it gives you is something not easily acquired and thus the end result leaves you feeling spheres above where you were when you started.

Imagine with me please, a crowded overflowing basement with boxes, totes, and trash everywhere. In one corner is the laundry room, in another the office that was forgotten when this lovely laptop was gifted, and in the third corner is the foot of the staircase you came down to behold this black hole that claims the many neglected items within.

In the last corner, filling up three quarters of the basement and practically growing like a cardboard and plastic weed, are the majority of those totes and boxes. You sigh and start with them, knowing the fastest way to find what you want is to go through them one box/bin at a time. It's going to be long and grueling, but it has to be done, and now is better than never.

The first bin you find has forgotten, but never been used, scented candles. They are not what you need. You set it aside. The second bin has the wedding pictures and other displayable items unused in such a small house. It gets stacked on the first one.

The third bin holds promise as it has been properly labeled. A quick peek inside and you know it is some of the vast collection you are down here to dig up and reveal. It gets sent up the stairs in the arms of eager toddlers willing to help mommy in her silly pursuit among dead spiders and nose-tickling dust. The tail ends of the flu already have you coughing though, so it is nothing and you proceed to the next box.

Hubby stops by quickly and you explain you need some things for the event you are doing for church. He worries that you're going to hurt yourself, and takes several very large totes with what you want up the stairs for you. The girl's couldn't lift those... He leaves after a heavy admonition and rushes off to a computer job for a member in the ward. You know he won't get paid for this one, but are grateful he has the opportunity to serve as it will help some people who really need it.

Thirty seven totes and twenty four boxes later you collapse exhausted in the living room one floor above where you started. Twelve of the totes and one of the boxes have followed you up here. You look through them knowing you only need a few things from some of them and pack the rest into totes that will go back down to the cold basement. You keep the box and nine of the totes. These will serve you well at the event you are organizing.

After a few hours (you have the flu, so you need to have some real rest), you have fed the kids and are ready to reorganize the mess you left behind and venture once more into the large, chilly room. It looks a little emptier with the missing totes and boxes, but there are no paths among the mess and you know your work is cut out for you again. You were told not to do this by loving hubby-to stop once you got what you needed-, but you know he will be upset when he finds he can't reach the laundry room, so you proceed anyway.

You move one box into the only empty floor space left and are pleased that there is still just enough room for your feet on the cold cement. The house shoes protect you enough that you aren't shivering in the crisp October weather.

Another box is lifted and stacked neatly on top of the first. Those yearbooks and wedding bits won't be sought after for a while, so they are rightly against the furthest wall. They will be buried very well.

A few more boxes get put on top of them and then a few more. Precariously the stack is now six tall and roughly your height. You begin another stack, aware of the drain pipe you must not cover at the request of the land-people. A third stack completes the hollow circle and a large space as been cleared for it. The children are now in your way as they dance in the created space like faeries celebrating midsummer's night. You smile and continue to move around them.

After a few more hours, you have placed all the Christmas decorations on one side, the dishes that serve sixty in another nook, and the rest divided according to pleasure. Empty boxes are flattened, freeing up more space, but saved as you know this is not your home and may need to move eventually. They barely take up any space and are tucked between a wall and a few stacks of totes. You frown at the totes as you remember that most of them are filled with misshapen candles; heavy, and not the splendor they were when purchased. You pull a few out and have the girls take them upstairs to be used later. They do still smell wonderful and that at least pleases you.

You look around and decide to clean up all those papers your husband promised were important but had thrown precariously into toppling piles. The file cabinet is found and dragged out, and hours more are spent filing things properly.

Needing to be fed again, you take a break and prepare a small snack for the girls. You aren't hungry for anything the kitchen has to offer and head back down to your dungeon. Those papers exceed the file cabinet and end up getting stacked near the computer. Your husband can figure out later if they really were that important after all; you've had enough.

A few more moved boxes and some trash pick up, including fly-away dryer sheets from the laundry that gets hauled through, and you find you are done. the largest sigh painfully, but happily escapes your labored chest. You are pleased you are getting over the flu and decide the renewed energy you used was well spent.

After a little more rearranging, you have a small playground in the middle of that crowded basement. The horse rocker is set on pink carpet with large hibiscus flowers, and you smile pleasantly as you watch the girls take turns and play in the wide space. They have room to run this winter. The overhaul was definitely worth it.

Exhausted for the last time you fall into that same comfy seat in your living room. You feel like you are flying despite your aching body. A little advil and even that is not so bad. You have the girls get ready for bed while you take your breather.

Minutes later, the kids are kissed and tucked in with a small story to start their dreams with. Your day has been full, but you know you aren't done yet.

You head back down to the computer to edit at least one chapter in the last novel you finished. Then write two blogs on two different sites and make sure you critic a few blogs for that weird site you just signed up for a few days ago. You rub your eyes after about thirty or so and close the laptop with a yawn.

You think you are going to bed when your husband gets home. His late dinner and conversation follow. He has two interviews lined up for tomorrow and several calls from people today. A check is in the mail for the computer he serviced yesterday and you smile happily when you think that groceries will be bought this weekend.

He wanders downstairs for the printer as he makes sure his resume looks perfect. You attend to his virtual farm because he asks you to. He needs to harvest really badly. You start clicking away at the crops, trees, and animals as your sleepy mind drifts.

You find your forehead being kissed gently and open your eyes. The farm is done being harvested, but your husband is staring at you queerly.

"Yes?" you ask groggily.

"Have I told you lately how much I love you?" he asks tenderly, a look in his eye.

"Not tonight," you answer with a groan, rough cough, and yawn.

He chuckles. "Not what I meant, but okay." He's still smiling.

You're too tired to try to figure what the look means if it's not the other thing.

"I saw the basement," he says after a bemused second. "You did a great job, thank you."

You continue to look up at him blearily. "Oh yeah. Well you said you needed to store the bikes inside this winter, so...." You don't finish.

"Thank you," he repeats. He gives you a grateful smile, and moves back to his laptop to make sure everything is in order for the interviews tomorrow.

You wish him luck. He asks you to find him some dark blue dress socks for his suit and the right tie is lost. You shuffle around the house until they are located. He offhandedly mentions you're a finding things genie, but otherwise ignores the efforts.

You wander down to the basement with one more tote you found you didn't need and stop on the bottom step. You can't believe what you are seeing.

Such a sense of accomplishment on your part makes a very tired person cry silently. The things accomplished today really made a difference and you know you will sleep well tonight, even if you didn't have to take that nyquil to breathe properly.

After a moment of silence and an errant thought about why you have so much stuff, you put the tote snugly away and return upstairs with one last tired conclusion.

I should get better from the flu more often.

.................

2009-10-22T17:20:00.000-07:00

Beware!

I am on the activities committee for my ward and have the privilege of decorating for the church trunk or treat and chili cook off. I am quite excited.

Usually we have booths that we go around and earn candy and have a small meal before getting more candy out of elaborately decorated mini vans in the parking lot afterwards. This has worked for many years.

This year my partner in crime for ward party planning has decided not to do the booths under the pretense that we don't need to sugar the kids out. The kids really didn't like the booths the other years, so this is okay with me.

Instead we are focusing on the chili cook off as the main event and doing round tables decorated with the posh center pieces that basically take up most of my basement all year. I am doing cartwheels in the excitement that they will be used. I have a small place and most of my decorations end up staying in the basement even this time of year. Now they will be pulled out in all their glory and shared with hundreds of people at an event befitting their spooky decor.

The whole cultural hall will be transformed in to a 'happy' haunted house. My partner even hes the great idea of hanging fishing wire from one end to the other to hand lights above the guests gathered. It will be very pretty.

I will be printing out haunting songs to sing and there will be several prizes for the chili; hottest, sweetest, tastiest, lumpiest, scariest, etc. After which we will still wander outside for the trunk or treating in our various costumes. The kids will have candy, just not gobs of it.

The cost for my many decorations total somewhere in the thousands and I am pleased that our event will be so well covered. It won't be bad for a humble church gathering.

Beware of fantastic decor and delicious food!

......................

2009-10-20T09:00:00.000-07:00

Soooo COOL!!!

My favorite Halloween poem was given to my children by my sister. It is about five little pumpkins sitting on a gate. You all know it. If you don't, may I suggest you stop by Barnes and Nobles and read Five Little Pumpkins Sitting On A Gate. It is a simple poem and really gets you in the spirit for spooking people with an innocent air.

It seems weird to me that I don't like April fools, but I heartily participate in jumping around corners this time of year to catch a love one unaware. It is so much fun to watch them giggle at me and try to reciprocate the love-given token only minutes later. Adorable!

Of course I'm not a vampire, werewolf, witch or wizard that is lurking to put evil spells on them. It's just a fun scare. Nothing sinister is allowed within my walls. I like the happier, lighter side of Halloween. I don't appreciate or condone any thing less happy than a smiling Jack-o-lantern. The skulls at the top of this page are a little too much for me. I don't like gruesomely displayed body parts. That takes all the fun away for me. Body parts are not scary for me, just sad. I'm always thinking that if I was a doctor I could sew the poor fool who is laid precariously all over the place back together before the heart finally faltered or something. My inner Frankenstein wants to practice with lightening to see if I can save the decapitated zombie. So not scary, just unfortunate.

Haunted houses are fabulous. If they were cuter I think I would like them better, but the jumping out with a hearty "BOO" is the best part. Oh, and the dry ice. I love dry ice! Just don't corner me with blood all over your face and a real-albeit unplugged-chainsaw in your hands in the last chamber and try to ask me out. That was scarier than I EVER wanted! Thank you Kristilyn for saving me!

So I like the cute side. Maybe I'm too old, or too weird, but blood isn't scary so much as something to make me want to rush you to the hospital. I don't think the blood or the body part can really "get' me. Nor do I get them.

Can't we all sing around a campfire with the pretty sheets we stole and dance like the pixies meant us to?

hehehehe. I digress. i do love this holiday... as long as it's kept clean. That means the eggs, too. It's my birthday for goodness sake. Don't destroy my house on my special day or you're going to get the same in April... or June or whenever. It won't make sense, but you deserve it for being so cruel to me on mine.

The only comstume I own is Tigger. If I could I would also have a homemade princess one, but all this only goes to prove I like the lighter side.

BOO!!!

Did you jump? ;P hehehehe. Thanks for letting me scare you!

....................

2009-10-19T17:06:00.000-07:00

Fall de rol de fiddle deedee, fiddle dee faddle dee foodle

All the dreamers in the world are dizzy in the noodle!

Let me count myself as one of those wonderful dreamers.

I am in the prime of my life and enjoying it immensely. Writing was a wonderful form of expression for me in junior high, but has been lost to me these last fifteen years or so due to a rude English teacher. Luckily I can now look at her unkind words and am able to recite the proverb: Those who cannot, teach. Those who can, do.

I am a doer. I am diving back into the wonderful world I embraced as a child with bright and excited eyes and a whole lifetime for my itching fingers to express for me. My grammar and punctuation may be a little off as that nasty teacher pointed out, but my story telling skills are not.

More than any writer, I am a storyteller. Whether fact or fiction, long novels or quick anecdotes, I have much to share and embark on this journey with enthusiasm and hope and eagerness unrivaled by any of my past. Indeed this is the amusement park I have left behind, and much more fun for me.

I hope to create worthy pieces for people to read with this old-found pleasure literally at my fingertips. Read on and enjoy fair world. And be taken to worlds created from the depths of my very imaginative mind.

I am a dreamer. And very proud of being such.

.................

2009-10-19T16:12:00.001-07:00

I enjoy the fall again...

There are so many reasons to love having to pull out the heavier wardrobe and waterproof shoes.

An Arizonan for most of my life, it is refreshing to finally be in a place that boasts the four seasons in such absolution as they do in upstate New York. For two years I have been privileged to watch the whispers of the seasons find me before bursting with the finality of finally submerging the landscape in its brilliance only available to the owner of that time of year. The four owners of course are spring, summer, winter, and fall.

And now latter, Autumn, is upon us. I knew it was here with that first nip at my nose during my morning walk a few weeks ago. A nip like that would have meant winter in Arizona. Now it is just a promise of what is to come with two full seasons not yet represented this year. After roasting in the hot sun for decades, I am relieved to feel such comfort throughout the year in my new home. I enjoy the cold, and a new experience, snuggling in the cold. I never would have dreamt that I would seek the comforts of blankets to help me feel good, but I am grateful as I seem to have more time to read when there aren't many outdoor activities to call to me.

My favorite are the magnificent colors that this season flaunts so surreptitiously until shown in vibrant radiance on the day it decides to fully make itself known. Indeed the season creeps in overnight it seems. Reds, golds, yellows, lime greens, and oranges throw their colors against the dark greens of the never changing evergreens around them as if showing off that they boast more than the one color of their quiet neighbors. These neighbors bow humbly in their friends' grandeur ingeniously knowing that they will have their own season to boast their own splendor in the dead of the next season.

And of course with the fall comes Halloween.

Fat pumpkins, beautiful squash, apples of every kind, and the harvest of summer's hard work comes out in colorful abundance this time of year. It is very hard indeed not to find myself singing happily with the cornucopia of such a bountiful harvest around me. I share the wealth as it gets shared with me. Presents appear on doorsteps and shrill exclamations reach hiding ears as people let others know they care. I enjoy both sides of this clandestine tradition and many people benefit from my escapades among thick bushes in my eager anticipation to see them exclaim their audible jubilation.

It leads me to this conclusion; with bounty brings open hearts. Mine grows every fall. Truly I seek opportunities to continue to let it grow all year, but never do these opportunities seem to be everywhere as it does in the fall and start of the holidays.

This is truly a season to revel in.

...........................

2009-10-16T21:17:00.000-07:00

I'm everywhere today. Forgive me for rambling.

I wonder how you can tell if you have a really bad flu when they all feel terrible. *sniffle*

I am having fun diving back into my second book. It is new almost and I love seeing where the story takes me. Sometimes I find that it goes in the wrong direction, or I have a better idea where should go and it gets fixed. I also notice that I use too many commas. The pauses that occur naturally I feel I need to add physically all the time.

Ron let me take over his farm on facebook. My OCD took over as I organized half the chaos he left for me. He doesn't have enough cash for the rest, so I'm left feeling inadequate and unfinished. My farm looks the same and it lost about 14,000 coins due to a glitch in the game. :(

I like to watch Monk and Psych when I write. The last season of Monk is on right now and I'm seeing all the new episodes. He's so funny. It's sad that I can relate to some of his phobias. Thankfully I'm not as crazy as he is! ;) But amusing nonetheless. I think Shawn and Gus are hilarious.

I think its funny that my body can be tortured so terribly, but if my mind is happy I can still be having a good day. I wonder how to make my mind happy everyday. Its hard when people cuss at me or ask what Im on when I say the wrong thing. With the flu more weird things come out of my mouth and what I think is funny in my demented state gets taken wrong and offensively. I realize now that the reason not to infect people is not the only reason people stay home when you're sick.

My girls are having growing pains. This means that they're going to be ready for the new size tens that their godmother bought them before I thought they would be. *sniff* They're getting so big!

My birthday is almost here. My mailbox had to remind me when it boasted several giftcards to various restaurants. I have yet to recieve Outback and Red Lobster as they are my favorites. My hubby and I used Denny's today for a lunch date because I thought I was better. Denny's is great for those days when I crave hasbrowns or nachos.

I continued to feel great until I got home. Now I'm a full blown sickie and so much worse than the last few days. The Nyquil will be used tonight. Hopefully it is a short flu.

My cousin is giving away kittens. I want one, but we can't have one here. I also want a dog. I thought I was a one animal only kind of gal until I really thought about it. My dog has to be huge, friendly, have short hair, and be able to pull me on my rollerblades with the proper dog harness. My cat has to have a flat face, very long hair, and love to cuddle in my lap. I miss Marble....

I notice I say oy a lot when I'm sick. I don't know why that is. I've been doing it for years now that I think about it. It's like a part of the sickness; oyness of the mouth. And again I'm sick, so I'm not very clever right now.

So fun how Nyquil works. I can actually feel when it kicks in. That was several seconds ago. I am off to bed. Hopefully I won't feel like drowning this time and will be able to sleep.

I just hope you know how awesome you are. Thank you for being in my life.

Hugs and luvs.

.........................

2009-10-14T08:24:00.000-07:00

The world needs to smile a little more!

I was up late last night and IM-ming with my sister in law in Utah, and being tired and unable to sleep for various reasons including work, we had fun taking breaks and figuring out what fun faces we could make on the IM combining keys. This is what we came up with, granted there may be more combinations out there, but these took us hours. Enjoy!

press: get:

:) a regular smiley face

:D big grin teeth etc.

^_^ is a closed eye happy smile

;) winking man

:P tongue sticks out

:O that's an 'Oh' not a zero and the jaw drops on your character

:( sad face

>:( angry man! hehe his eyes squint. we laughed about this one for a while

>:O opens angry man's mouth.

:'( an actual blue tear is on the yellow face with this one

alt 13 or alt 14 makes music notes, but only if you use the #s on the keypad

*writing inside* anything inside asterisk makes the writing bold; asterics disappear

and then my favorite!

:* kisses you! awww how cute!

<3 makes a pink heart! adorable!

These certainly helped wile away the hours when I was feeling awful and my sil was doing medical reports. I hope you can enjoy these as much as we did. Next time you IM someone have fun putting emotion back into your conversations! LUvs and hugs and faces, OH MY!!! ...............

2009-10-12T10:52:00.000-07:00

And the cold sets in.

Yesterday was mildly chilly. Today we woke up to find the thermostat at forty-eight degrees. Brrr and very chilly, winter is here.

Sure the ground may be bare and the leaves on the trees may be vibrant in oranges, reds, and yellows, but I think that impatient winter dropped by in the night to remind us he was on its way. And it most definitely is.

I am sure we will have a warmer week next week and that it may last until Halloween, but the frigid temperature does more than make me groan. Indeed, it makes me happy as well.

With the start of winter brings sparkly lights and singing choirs and smiles from strangers. The smell of evergreen, spiced pumpkin, and vanilla cookies greet you in every room. Bright colors, crisp apple pies, and an all around good feeling really put me in the best of moods.

And moods are very contagious. I love how people's hearts open up this time of year. It makes the food and clothing drives very profitable and I always feel better when the totes to the shelters get wide eyes and thankful tears. I am blessed that I can be if but a very small part of that. I don't deserve all that I have and I really need to be able to share, even if it is just my time this year. But hand-me-downs are always in great shape and my girls will be the ones giving what they have this time. I am grateful they can learn why people are so happy this time of year. They know of course that this feeling can be felt all year as last June we also donated. Luckily my kids grow like weeds.

I love the turns of the seasons. God really knew what he was doing to mix up the weather a bit. It keeps us from taking things for granted.

Of course I think He was incredibly smart to give us neighbors friends and family, too. Where would I be without people? Not very happy. Not that I'm the social butterfly I was way back when, but people make me smile. And laugh and cry and feel sad, but it's the gems that I speak about. You know who you are. Thanks.

As you pull out those jackets and boots and mittens and scarves remember that there is more to this time of year than losing a few toes. It is a time when the warmth retreats to hearts. Open yours and you will be amazed. If it is already, then you know exactly what I mean. And I salute you.

As the cold sets in my heart will remain warm.

...........

2009-10-11T12:26:00.000-07:00

I pulled out a few of my Halloween decorations today. The ants in the basement are still dead so the stuff is working. Luckily the bulbs in my giant kitty and ghost pumpkin set still work too. They are beautiful accents to my front porch right now.

I love decorating. It's so much fun to rearrange my house every month or so. My hubby indulges me and will even move the furniture sometimes. I can't move everything, that entertainment center is pretty much a part of the wall now, but couches, chairs, end tables and lamps are shuffled periodically according to my whim.

Some people call it feng shui. I call it a refreshing view. Either way the house is happier when I can make the tiny box a little less tediously familiar. Though our stuff is the same, so it is just familiar enough to be comforting.

As my birthday approaches more things will be creeping out of the basement for the delight of the neighborhood. Smiles will be shared and screeches enjoyed with each new character and silly spider. I wish there were more holidays than just the ones this time of year. But I know why people decorate more in the winter now that I've moved up here. It is cold and when you have four walls to look at, they get splattered! Also, who wants to stay indoors when the weather is fair and perfect? Not me.

So as the birds flock south and the air nips my nose be sure that there will be a smile on my face. After Halloween is Thanksgiving after all. And then Christmas and... well you get the picture. My fourth of July stuff will work for president's day, too. I do so enjoy decorating.

I know it is against the grain, but even with my fortunate birthday, Christmas is my favorite holiday to decorate for. Indeed the collection for my house is insane. Luckily most of it was free. I did have my brother-in-law buy Christmas tree lights for us one year out of my own pocket (he was very kind to run errands for the pregnant sil when her husband was in the navy), but most things were presents; even our tree was a gift (thanks fairy godmother M!).

I think I just remembered where the talking skull head is. I'm off for its retrieval and then hanging. Only on Halloween is a 'hanging' accepted!

Happy Decorating!

.............................

2009-10-10T08:38:00.000-07:00

To be fair, this was not inspired by atari.

Oy! Those games they have online are horrid! So many ways I can take that sentence! Honestly I think they're there simply to make you go insane!

I just started yoville and farmville. I have only seen them for four days now, but I think I've seen enough!

First lets explain. My rant is needed.

The first is primarily for socializing with people you never would have met before. Okay. That might be nice for some people, but I don't have time for that. My day is filled with REAL stuff and REAL people! I have more things to do than sit around talking to whatever nameless that starts a chat with me! I had to sign off after a half an hour (honestly I'm still asking myself why I was on there so long!) and found some hurtful notes when I came back because they were mad that I had to go work! Maybe I wasn't nice enough when I explained that I had some errands to run and a book to write, but that is no excuse for name calling! I should have just left instead of taking the time to apologize! And the rest of it is stupid; decorate a room; I do that in real life! Why would I wan to do that there?! And I dress myself everyday! And my clothes are much more interesting! Oy! This drove me CRAZY! There was no point, you didn't level fast enough, and it was stupid!

The second was a little easier. Things happened, my farm grew and you could level as fast as you got coins. Okay. I also got a ton of people accept to be my neighbors and that helped me level too. But I really don't understand why people spend so much time on there. The reward would be so much better if they went outside and planted one for themselves. Sure it takes longer in real life, but it is REAL in real life. I do like the Halloween tree you can add, but it doesn't do anything but sit there. It didn't call to me as I know it did and does for other people.

I had to spend a lot longer on Sorority Life to get bored with it. I hated the mean girls that took my hard earned money and points, but the worst was the hurtful comments they left when they took it. They screamed. Actual cussing, and... just awful. I think I was the only girl who stayed on there for as long as I did and never fought back. I picked no fights because I hated it when my stuff was gone and couldn't bring myself to do it to someone else. This one was the most painful because I kept at it so long. The wardrobe here WAS much better than mine. I'll miss that part only, but will quit because the rest was so bad.

Mafia wars... yeah, I did that on a friends and never had to sign in on my facebook page. It was lame. I was impressed with the organized crime layout, but I wanted to be kingpin high boss or whatever and it was too hard to level up. The violence lasted one day and I never returned. My friend laughed at me, but I'm not a violent loving person.

I haven't tried castle age. It looks intriguing, but after all these other ones I'm afraid.

I've done all the nonclicky ones like bejeweled and stuff, but they all are such time wasters. In the end I found that my brain actually stopped working and writing became very hard. I've spent the whole of the last week feeling numb where I'd rather be buzzing. The games promoted laziness and practically did all the thinking for you. I hated that. I wanted to create and live and explore. Instead I was being hit with dull, lame, brainkilling scenes that hurt so much the indolence became physically painful.

I can see how video games kill brain cells. I actually saw it working. I am glad I don't let my kids play this stuff. They are much younger than me and need theirs for life.

Now I do have a discrepancy in this post. I was very sick several years back and on bedrest for months. Hooked up on IVs and moved back in with my mom for help, I was a space mutant on all the drugs I had to take just to keep me alive. My mom introduced Spyro the dragon and my sister introduced Freecell and Spider Solitaire. If not for these I would have gone mentally crazy. They challenged me enough to remain coherent and get me out of bed. Yes, I wasn't supposed to leave the bed, but you try staring at the ceiling of a box for hours on end. Not fun!

So I see how these games can be helpful. But for someone who would rather create worlds around her I was brain-stumped with the worlds created for me. At least with a good book I get to create something with the words on the page. And I find that my worlds always vary from the author's or a friend's reading the same story. I overproject and have a very vivid mind.

In conclusion unless you are already a deadhead, stay away from these virtual evils. Real life is much more rewarding! I have to admit that the word evil comes to mind with some of these apps. I will still send hearts because they don't take any of my time and I want you all to know I LOVE you and care and think about you even from so far away.

The rest of you not on facebook, you're not missing much. The blogs are so much more thought provoking! :D

Thanks for letting me post this, and as always, thank you for reading!

....................

2009-10-09T10:29:00.000-07:00

Playing in the rain!

It's raining, it's pouring none of us are snoring. It's after eight, we'll stay up late and sleep in in the morning!

Being from Arizona, or living there most of my life, I have a healthy love of the very wet rain. When it falls, when it spritzes, when it pours and when it lets you walk through it (clouds are very wet!) I get excited! Everywhere outside my house is covered in white fluffy clouds. AND it is raining still! Umbrellas don't always help when you walk into the floating droplets!

On rainy days it is a good idea to have activities for the young ones so they don't drive the parents crazy. In our front yard, just past the porch, we set up a tent. The tent has a water proof bottom so the water can flood outside of it up about four inches. Inside it's snug as a bug in a rug!

My girls take half the house out there. Coloring books, puzzles, barbies, ponies; you name it and if it isn't dress up it's out there! I send out snacks a spill-proof drinks when they get hungry, and then cram inside with them when a board game goes out. We have TONS of fun together!

Rainstorms are also nice for my migraines. The pressure changes so often I am in severe pain from it up here, but when that rain finally falls it is pleasant relief! I am happier, and the kids see that. I wish it would rain everyday!

Time for another dip in my very large swimming pool! *heads out door and grins*

Do any of you like the rain? What is your favorite weathery day? Is it all about the sun and the warmth of those perfect dry days? Let me know!

..........

2009-10-07T11:11:00.000-07:00

Gratefulness starts with the heart that sees the miracles.
I won't stop looking for them.

Just when everything falls apart and the world appears to crash and burn around me, everything seems to be sown together again. I am always impressed when Heavenly Father responds immediately to requests. It is not nice of me to be happy when He does answer quickly, but I am. And very grateful.

Today help came in the form of friends, family, and even kind strangers. God's love truly came in so many forms I was praying prayers of gratitude several times in just a few hours to let him know how thankful I was.

My family is still waiting for the good news from a company in Texas that we are hoping to employ hubby. The company is sifting through many possible candidates and it takes months to fill positions in his line of work, but we have been reassured each week that he is still in the running and at the top of the list. It doesn't help to remember that on average it takes a month for each ten thousand you earn a year to be hired. That means that we still have quite a few to go.

Hopefully we will have news before the holidays, but not if the statistics prove accurate for us. The prayer for quick action here has gone unanswered for a very long time now. Speed will not be the case here.

But we are being taken care of. Efforts to keep food on the table have been rewarded and our bills are miraculously being paid. I am pretty sure that even though we made no money for a whole week this month and are drastically behind right now that by the time each bill comes we will have been blessed with exactly what we need to survive. Heavenly Father hasn't let us down yet. the miracles haven't stopped for short term help.

Yet the prayers for the job and long term help are still on hold it seems.

But we can't complain too much. The scary day yesterday was has been reversed completely today with all the good news today brought. Still want the high paying job, but we are surviving. And that means everything to me. I see His wonderful works all around me and it makes me happy to be a Christian so that I know whom to thank.

And I thank Him and all his wonderful servants with all my heart; in all their many forms and shapes and ways.

Thank you, brothers and sisters of the being who created us. Thank you God for them and your wonderful ways. I won't lose faith. Even if I do get scared sometimes, I know you are always watching and loving me. Thank you.

And thank those of you reading this that have helped my family. You know who you are.

My eyes are open and the miracles won't be forgotten.

....................

2009-10-06T07:00:00.000-07:00

These friends always call first. ^ Aren't they pretty!

I think I have mixed feelings about uninvited guests. I love to have people over and I enjoy their company. They always have fascinating stories to tell and fun anecdotes about life. I usually like the people who stop by.

But I am not the most organized person in the world, and sometimes I wish they would have called and asked at least an hour before so I could 'stash' the things that would bother me to have out. Some people have kids, so I would like to make sure the porcelain and water globes and fragile candles were out of the way. Others want to have meals, so I would like the dishwasher to be loaded even if there really was only two or three things in the sink.

On other days I just feel terrible, and I wish I could have been warned to put on something a little better than my comfiest outfit. No one wants to see the pajama bottoms I lounge in when I'm in pain! And please don't make me try to climb those stairs to change when I can barely keep lunch down!

I was okay yesterday. The house wasn't where I like it to be, but thankfully she brought her three kids. And while they were hungry, they were all content, actually requested to just run around my enormous front yard. An acre or so, they were happy with the space provided and the crackers and cheerios I procured for their cute little tummies. Satisfied guests are always my favorite ones.

When they show up I even start out with mixed feeling. I am honored that they consider me close enough to do that. I am horrified that I have no time to get ready. Honestly the house is usually in great shape. Ask my mom, she actually complimented it to my siblings recently. Made me happy!

But I feel like I was given no time to prepare myself. What if it had been an awful day? I probably would have cut the visit short. Which makes me sad because I do want to chat and I don't want to hurt their feeling or make them feel like I don't like them. I love them! All of them! There are great people up here!

If life was perfect, and health fantastic, and houses self-cleaning, I wouldn't be so put off to the open door policy I wish to continuously put forth and pretend to have. My mom has one. She seems to handle it well. I envy that about her.

Like I said, I'm kinda on the fence. I do sot see their unannounced arrival as rude, or enjoy having my life halted unexpectedly. Perhaps I am too finicky. I hope they don't take it personally if I don't invite them in on those really awful days. Oh well.

..................

2009-10-02T23:04:00.000-07:00

It is fun to pretend, dress up for a while and put on another's shoes so to speak. I like Halloween. It is coming up and the chance to parade myself as someone else again approaches. I have a full size adult Tigger costume. Perhaps it will be my masquerade this year.

But I am young and I am leaning towards wearing an old prom dress and claiming royalty for the day. I've done the witch thing. Maybe I can combine the two and have a goth-good faerie impression going on. I like wings. I wish I had some.

I want to know what you are all thinking of doing for Halloween. I am partial to the holiday because my birth fell on it. So I am naturally curious what everyone else will be doing while I turn another twenty-something (Honestly, I will be twenty-something for a long time now ;) ).

Let me know what you are doing, wearing, pretending to be as you step out of your skin for whatever else inspires you. I wish I knew how to let you add pics. That would be awesome!

Who do you like to be when you aren't you?

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2009-09-29T21:56:00.000-07:00

Funny! Is it ironic I was once a 'rattler'?

Allow me to toot my own horn. It doesn't happen often. ;) okay, ever.

Wow. I've been going through some of my old posts to read what I wrote, and I am surprised at some of the things I think about and have done. I've kept a journal before, but I have to say that my thoughts run free in a whole new way with the ease of typing on a keyboard.

I am most surprised with all I have accomplished. I look like a jack of all trades with the lists I have compiled here. Some of my achievements even give the idea that I am distinguished and classy. Very nice.

I wonder if it is too late to add that I can play the piano and clarinet very well? That I know how to play the trombone poorly and have played the flute, trumpet, bass clarinet, saxophone, and tuba at least a few times in my life. Of course these last ones have been forgotten except how to make the instrument work. I can make noise! Just not very good noise....

Or that I have volunteered at over nine hundred charities in my lifetime and still send in money to several outside of the church I give ten percent to every week. Mobility is the only thing stopping me from running marathons and giving charity hockey events (and yes I have played hockey before; street hockey, but we didn't have much ice in Arizona).

Even now I look at this stuff and think I'm cooler than I really am. I live, love, and care like the rest of the world. I'm no different, sometimes less than cool I think. I know I always want to do more, or should do more. It makes me sad to admit that my life is busier and I don't have the time I did before I got married. How selfish am I?

Look at me, I start writing a blog about how cool I am and I end up still thinking I'm dirt.

I have my moments, as does everyone else. Maybe I could step them up a little. I'm no Mother Teresa, but I have great respect for those that give their lives as she did. But I know I will never be one of them. I have accepted this... okay well maybe not if I'm still grouchy!

Life has to be taken one day at a time. I think I've forgotten that.

At least I have my writing! Oy! How selfish do I sound doing something only for me now?!

This is a comment seeking blog. Post how you wish you did more. Or if you are awesome, let me know. I need ideas... maybe I'll take them and do them... maybe I'll keep writing this blog.

Hehe. The latter is very provocative! Guess 'll be here for a while!

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2009-09-28T13:58:00.000-07:00

Do you ever have those words that are just on the tip of your tongue that they really should burn it? You can recite the definition for this word, and you could use it in a sentence, indeed the sentence is formed and a space is made, ready to insert it as soon as your stumbling brain stops for a second to grasp the tottering word before it gets lost?

Well I am feeling that right now. What is the question that no one wants answered called? You ask, but you aren't asking for an answer, you are simply putting it out there into the void that we call thought. Honestly, i have used this word for this thousands of times and now I am drawing a blank.

"Question," says person one.
"Answer," says person two.
Person one gives glare. "That was a .... question, you dork."

What? Not supposed to be answered, I know, but what is the word!?! Ugh! This is driving me crazy.

WAIT!!! Hypothetical?

Is that it? A hypothetical question? Honestly I have been spinning for so long I am too dizzy to really believe I finally have it.

Time will tell. I think I need a break now....

Yes. Definitely bedtime. Goodnight crazy book until I can think a little better.

...........

2009-09-26T20:30:00.000-07:00

Books and books and more wonderful books!

I finished my second book in the Jewel saga!

I am so happy I am ready to burst! It took me a little less time to nail down than the first, and is much shorter as result, but I believe it will be just as fun now that Julia and Joshua's relationship is determined. Now all the fun adventure starts! And battles! And powers will swell! Hehe I digress. The book is finished!

Next I have the editing to look forward to. This is where I read the full book from start to finish and make sure each scene melts into the next one peacefully without leaving anyone scratching their heads. Of course there are cliff hangers, but that is entirely different! They add fun scratching!

Editing is fun because I get to plunge into the world I created and see it from an outsider's view. Indeed I will put the book away for a few weeks and dive into my young adult one with the frogs before I come back to it. That way when I open the file that contains the full book, I have fresh eyes and can really see it objectively. Scenes that I had in my head and were cut out are now gone(saved in another drive if I decide in editing that I really liked them after all), and I can see how the finished book really is without all the distractions that clouded my brain before. It is now new and exciting as it goes to places I don't expect after being away for so long.

And yes, a few weeks on another project really can wipe so much of that world out of my head. I switch from elves to frogs. Quite a jump between characters and ages and likes and dislikes. When Jewels is introduced again I will watch her go through her experiences with only a vague overall of what happens. I rewind to the beginning again with her and see what she sees almost for the first time. It is enthralling to relive it as it should be lived; from the reader's viewpoint!

I have said I love to read. I love to read I love to read I love to read!

Oh, but it is so much more than that! I love to experience, and see the world visually, and feel what the words in front of me want me to feel!

And here I have to say that I hated being made to feel some of the things in the Eragon books.

But most of what I read is wonderful! Fantasy and happiness by the end; it is no wonder I don't want the poor things to end! I was having too much fun celebrating with the characters once the crisis was finally out of the way!

And in all fairness, I think I need more celebrating in the end of book two. Perhaps a longer ending will be better. But I will not fix it, won't even touch it, for a few weeks! I want it to be perfect! I know that if I spend enough time away, my subconscious will fix everything for me and I will have another masterpiece on my hands! Ahhhh! Sweet success in a wonder-filled world of perfection and cohesively meshing chapters! Sigh and big tingly grin!

I love everything about being a writer! Well, with the big exception of the tedious queries I have to send out to complete strangers. Yeah not so much fun.

But if I could see their faces after they read my book and when they find it as exciting as I do, then it would all be worth it! I revel to think that more people can enjoy the worlds I create! How many would love to buy my book because it was what they were looking for! I wonder!

My dream halfway to reality I continue with every idea that pops into my head in hopes of making that dream the reality I see before me. It is tangible. It will be within my hands quite soon, I believe. I believe this with all my dreaming heart. I have never wanted anything for myself (besides the CK for me and my family for those of you who know me) more than I want this. Truly my religious beliefs come first, but if "Adam fell that men might be, and men are that they may have joy in this life and in the life to come", then I have to believe that my Heavenly Father wants me to be happy too.

And I know this goes without saying, but being a published author and sharing my worlds with everyone who loves the good written word would make me VERY happy!

'And the bank account' adds hubby over my shoulder. Heehee, Yes dear.

He is very patient with me when my fingers start clicking this fast. He knows my passion for writing runs very deep within me. He saw it when I had forgotten, and I deeply thank him for that.

I hope to get my books out there so you may all read what is close to my heart. I do think that many of you would fall in love with these characters too. Only time will tell! And a long series of fortunate events!

Until that time! Adeiu! I will be on here blogging in the meantime. Again, it is writing, how could I resist?!

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2009-09-26T16:55:00.000-07:00

"Writing as a writer that writes." ~anonymous

...As opposed to what? A writer that does not write? I thought this was a weird quote posted on an agent's blog today. Just had to share it. What do you think?

Most of the posts I read today talked about stories and ideas being stolen with all the new technology out there on the internet. Authors have sent their manuscripts over plain emails and had them stolen, rewritten and sold under someone else's name with no knowledge until the agent trying to sell it to another publisher tells them it's been done. Shock and horror follow as they try to figure out just what happened.

Though that was the worst of the cases I read, a different type of stealing is fast coming popular. Before the book comes to the shelve, versions are downloaded into the internet published by strangers. It impacts sales that could have sent the book over the top, but because it had free access, stores lost good money from a promising novel.

This sucks. It is the main reason I do not send my book through email anymore. Full manuscripts have been snatched through the US mail system and read and either stolen and submitted under a different name, or deemed unworthy and sent on in new packaging that the author doesn't recognize when the agent (who funnily thought it was great) goes over the ms with them later. These are true stories that really happened. Illegal to be sure, but travesties that truly scare me as a beginner novelist.

I have four books that I am studiously working on. Several ideas for more, but these four really speak to me right now. Two books finished, and none of the six published or copywrited, I worry that someone will either come up with the idea genuinely and get there faster than me, or as I talk about them they will get passed, either in jest as people think the ideas I share with them are lame, or seriously as others truly think I have something, to people who write faster than me and come up with their own versions making mine not as unique as I was going for. This terrifies me.

Those of you who keep asking to read my book please understand where I am coming from. If you want to read it, find me a publisher or an agent who is willing to do you a favor and read it for me for serious contemplation to getting it hardbound. If you help me get my dream to happen for any of these books, I will give you for free one of the first ones off the press hand signed by the author. I promise.

But, and this saddens me, that is the only way I think you will be able to read it. I want to make money as well as get published. It is part of what makes the game worth it. I want to know that people are willing to but me in print. It makes me excited to think that I am going to be in print. I don't want that ruined by the slip that is more common than my niave little mind had previously thought it was.

And a small part of me refuses to believe that 8% of ms are stolen. That is huge when you think about it. 8% is more than a thousand incidents, people. Scary. Of course I don't want to believe. These took me a long time create to think they'll be carted and sold by a faker.

The worst is that it is hard to prove who the idea came from. Some of the authors like me were new and they had no public name to tie their idea to while they wrote it so when they went to claim their own work they had no proof it was really theirs. Very few had copies saved with a date and time that preceded all dates for the thieves. And as they pointed out in the posts, anyone could fudge a time record.

So what is an author to do?

Honestly I don't know.

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2009-09-24T21:10:00.000-07:00

Soooo many new gadgets, so little time to learn all of them. Really this blog is my new toy. And it is the best as not many of my other ones let me do what I love best... write!

Today I have to gripe about telemarketers and those annoying people who call your home. I have a right to do this as I used to be one kind of these people. I accepted calls about what my company was selling and then tried to 'sell' the product that they were just calling in to learn about. I made a living doing this for five months before I couldn't do it any more. With the money I earned there I was able to buy a car, a whole new business wardrobe, and put close to nine thousand dollars into savings. The car was bought right after I started. I should have waited for a nicer one, but it served well for the few years I needed it.

But back to telemarketers. There should be a moral code they are expected to keep when they call these poor unsuspecting people up. If it is mentioned that the person has not the funds to participate in the 'wonderful' deal the other person is offering, then they should politely say goodbye and hang up.

Not give a new price for the same thing and offer it with a few new perks! They should not torment the nice person on the other line with a false hope that they will get to their price bracket and all they ever wanted will be theirs for mere pennies!

And they should never talk to someone who just woke up! Obviously the groggy person would do anything to get the chatter to stop, and they are not always in the right frame of mind to just hang up. They can barely string together the thoughts they were programmed with than to think of deviating from such polite programming!

My rant can go on, but I will leave you with that. Thank you for letting me say this about the profession that served me well physically. Mentally it was a moral drain to do it. I was lucky enough to quit with a lot of cash in my pocket after a short time. But I loathe the next person who calls me at five thirty in the morning. Polite programming may just have been overridden! Indeed, I will not soon forget to turn the nasty gadget off anytime soon!

Have a lovely weekend my wonderful friends and family. And chew out any advertiser you see for me, kay? Just for fun. They deserve a healthy dose every once in while. It puts them back on their own personal moral path for a few phone calls. Truly, we all need our moral path to be seen every once in a while.

Luvs and hugs.

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2009-09-23T11:59:00.000-07:00

"...And thus I've risen from the ashes... reborn again."

Someone asked me the other day what it was that inspired me to be a writer. This made me think, and I've finally narrowed down my reason.

First, I used to write about anything and everything in junior high and the beginning of high school. It was fascinating to watch the things I wrote take on a shape and life of their own. I was always creating some new world to escape into. Writing was like breathing back then; a necessity. The books I'd read colored these new thoughts to existence and helped create others. It was not altogether an unhappy time, despite it being junior high.

In high school, I was turned away from the idea of becoming the writer I wanted to be when I was told I couldn't write, and that no amount of college was going to write a story for me. Misunderstanding, I thought that they meant that I merely had no talent and that I never would have any. I gave up and, after much crying, threw myself into my next creative outlet; the arts.

Drama, dance, choir, and band filled my day from dawn to right before dinner time with all the extra curricular activities they offered outside of regular school hours. Song and dance my favorite, I joined the after school show choir, and dance club. My life seemed full. At least, my hours were accounted for.

After high school I knew that I was a weak singer and that my knees wouldn't let me dance much longer, so when I went to college I began my career to become a teacher. After a very short time I decided I didn't like teaching. I like playing.

It didn't matter my course after that as I found the one I was meant to be with and started a family together. My passions forgotten except in my dreams or the church choir, I settled into my life. It wasn't until my twenty eighth birthday that I even thought about writing seriously again.

A few months before October, my mother bought a few books to help me when I was unable to move about properly. I was going to be ill until after my birthday, and she, remembering my youthful fondness for the written word, bought me a few of the new releases in young adult fiction. Having read them herself, she knew they were excellent and that I may enjoy them as well. And being the wonderful mother she was, she kindly bought the whole series of each tale for me. I had gold in my hands.

Those listed in her selections were:

The Harry Potter series
The Fablehaven series
The Eragon series
The Percy Jackson series
The Twilight series
and
The World of Foo series

With enough written fantasy to last me weeks, I was soon flying to the worlds these precious authors opened for me with great delight. I rarely surfaced and when I did, it was only to cart the children to school and make meals for them after. Family night and church were the only other times I really saw them. Even when they requested snuggles and sat on my lap I regret to say that I read around them as I kissed their hair and hugged them back and rubbed their back affectionately. They stayed for near an hour or so before they grew bored and went to play dress up with their sibling in the other room.

When I put the last book down, I erred again as I became moody. My worlds had been snatched away with the last ominous word and I was plunged back into my own. My children and their smiles were the only thing that made me not weep outright. They really helped me see that not living in a fantasy world was not all that bad.

Subdued now, my husband suggested the funniest thing. Not knowing my past with the awful English teacher, he asked why I didn't create my own world to disappear into every once in a while. Then he shocked me further by magically producing a pretty laptop.

Silver, it reminded me of the colors I saw in my head during those precious hours of reading. "It's your birthday, thanksgiving and Christmas present," he beamed in his presentation. And indeed all I got for Christmas was a filled stocking and a package of colorful socks that year, but I didn't mind. I had already half a world created by then.

Not liking vampires very much, I held off on the Twilight series until last. That being said, it was still fresh in my mind when I started writing. I wanted another romance to bloom before my eyes. My character would be stronger though. She would be the damsel saving heroine... eventually.

My own klutz stumbled forward across the blank (pages) of my creation like a child with new life breathed into it. I flew beside it, encouraging her to take shape and then flight and then soar high above as I finished it.

I didn't stop there. My creation had to be perfect. I found a few English majors to help me hammer out the finer points and chop off the worse ones. Indeed I have another lined up, so that when I have ironed out the first suggestion to my taste (not all of which I chose to use as some were just plot suggestions) I will be able to present them with the newer, better version to be hacked up again. I actually like this part of the process, too. It is fun for me to watch my world change into sharper focus.

The part I don't like is the querying. The poor agents that I try to sell this to are getting very bad proposals as I have no idea how to sell the idea. I believe in it, but convincing someone else is harder than it sounds.

I am yet unpublished, but I feel that I am a writer. It is who I am, who i was, though for a long time I forgot, and it is who I will be in the future. Indeed at this present moment, I have three books I am writing. Each very different. One a women's romance, and the other two in different ages of young adult.

Whether they are elves again, toad dwelling demons, or creatures from another dimension, my characters are leaping off the pages and dancing around me in inspiration. I am their creator. I see them as if they were standing here beside me. I say I am a writer. But I am also a dreamer.

And thus I dream....

What sings to you? What would your driving life-force outside of your family be? Let me know I want to hear what speaks to you.

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2009-09-21T13:41:00.000-07:00

"...Sing Vienna, as only you can, the songs of the rising tide and the suns of the ocean's deep."

I have never really wanted to travel. I had done so much of it when I was a kid(granted we only visited Canada and Mexico outside the US) that my need to get 'out and see the world' was sufficiently quelled by the time I was seventeen. I am very lucky that my parents took the time every summer to educate us in all that was in our own backyard.

Much older now, and with my own kids to cart around to the various places yet untouched by my personal experience, I have the rest of the world to look at. There are a few places that intrigue me.

Like England and the lush country landscape and beautiful castles and homes to tour. Ireland would be great because I would want to see the forests that inspired faeries and leprechauns into being. China's country sounds gorgeous and I would like to see the pandas and secret villages that have no modern connection and hike the vast landscapes to find the temples scattered throughout.

Perched on the lagoon's tallest islands and sand dunes, Venice sounds like it would be the most fun for me. I would of course ride the gondolas, and see the museums. Maybe see Doge's Palace and the Basilica of San Marcos, even.

However, I would really love to book a tour with the underground excavating teams that dig up watery basements to see what kinds of things have been forgotten in the stories that get buried by the rising tides.

Now, understand that this is not a normal thing available to tourists. Indeed if you asked someone about this they would give you a quizzical look and leave you standing there feeling stupid.

No, this is a wonderful opportunity only available to those who seek the right licenses and permits. Then you have to get permission from the owners to dig up the watery grave that sits beneath them every night. Not going to happen for most. But I can dream.

Exploring the past in these soggy rooms seems to me, fantasy. It was interesting to watch the explorers on TV bring up treasures buried by time. I really would like to go there and get to see that for a few days. It would be the highlight of my traveling.

Sometimes I wonder if I should have been an archaeologist or artifact excavator when I grew up instead of a writer...

No this is so much more fun!

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2009-09-20T09:00:00.001-07:00

(Sorry, but I don't have the slide show on here.)

I love how there is a feature on here that lets me post things a day from when I write the! What a nice thing! Obviously this means that I won't have to 'work'(honestly i like this too much to call it work) on Sunday. A day of rest from all my activities as my Heavenly Father has asked of me. Cool! This has truly been a wonderful thing for me to do as a creative outlet.

But on to today's blog....

I do not usually have favorite songs outside of the hymns or choir music I sang in church and high school, but this one really touched me.

"There's always going to be another mountain. I'm always going to want to make it move. Always gonna be an uphill battle. Sometimes I'm gonna have to lose.

"It's the cliiii-iiii-iiii-iiiimb!"

Wow. This really spoke to me. Miley Cirus has certainly found a song that is worth listening to. It really helps when the rejections come. Thanks Miley.

I'm going to keep climbing. Wish me luck!

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2009-09-19T15:09:00.000-07:00

Okay. So who got the email from Uncle (nameless) describing the similarities by the history professor between Hitler and Obama? That was downright scary. In case you missed it, here's what he said:

The guy has the credentials to be credible.

Dr. David Kaiser is a respected historian whose published works have covered a broad range of topics, from European Warfare to American League Baseball. Born in 1947, the son of a diplomat, Kaiser spent his childhood in three capital cities: Washington D.C. , Albany , New York , and Dakar , Senegal . He attended Harvard University , graduating there in 1969 with a B.A. in history. He then spent several years more at Harvard, gaining a PhD in history, which he obtained in 1976. He served in the Army Reserve from 1970 to 1976.

He is a professor in the Strategy and Policy Department of the United States Naval War College. He has previously taught at Carnegie Mellon, Williams College and Harvard University . Kaiser's latest book, The Road to Dallas, about the Kennedy assassination, was just published by Harvard University Press.

History Unfolding

I am a student of history. Professionally, I have written 15 books on history that have been published in six languages, and I have studied history all my life. I have come to think there is something monumentally large afoot, and I do not believe it is simply a banking crisis, or a mortgage crisis, or a credit crisis. Yes, these exist, but they are merely single facets on a very large gemstone that is only now coming into a sharper focus.

Something of historic proportions is happening. I can sense it because I know how it feels, smells, what it looks like, and how people react to it. Yes, a perfect storm may be brewing, but there is something happening within our country that has been evolving for about ten to fifteen years. The pace has dramatically quickened in the past two.

We demand and then codify into law the require ment that our banks make massive loans to people we know they can never pay back? Why?

We learned just days ago that the Federal Reserve, which has little or no real oversight by anyone, has "loaned" two trillion dollars (that is $2,000,000,000,000) over the past few months, but will not tell us to whom or why or disclose the terms. That is our money. Yours and mine. And that is three times the $700 billion we all argued about so strenuously just this past September. Who has this money? Why do they have it? Why are the terms unavailable to us? Who asked for it? Who authorized it? I thought this was a government of "we the people," who loaned our powers to our elected leaders. Apparently not.

We have spent two or more decades intentionally de-industrializing our economy.. Why?

We have intentionally dumbed down our schools, ignored our history, and no longer teach our founding documents, why we are exceptional, and why we are worth preserving. Students by and large cannot write, think critically, read, or articulate. Parents are not revolting, teachers are not picketing, school boards continue to back mediocrity.. Why?

We have now established the precedent of protesting every close election (violently in California over a proposition that is so controversial that it simply wants marriage to remain defined as between one man and one woman. Did you ever think such a thing possible just a decade ago?) We have corrupted our sacred political process by allowing unelected judges to write laws that radically change our way of life, and then mainstream Marxist groups like ACORN and others to turn our voting system into a banana republic. To what purpose?

Now our mortgage industry is collapsing, housing prices are in free fall, major industries are failing, our banking system is on the verge of collapse, social security is nearly bankrupt, as is Medicare and our entire government. Our education system is worse than a joke (I teach college and I know precisely what I am talking about) - the list is staggering in its length, breadth, and depth. It is potentially 1929 x ten...and we are at war with an enemy we cannot even name for fear of offending people of the same religion, who, in turn, cannot wait to slit the throats of your children if they have the opportunity to do so.

And finally, we have elected a man that no one really knows anything about, who has never run so much as a Dairy Queen, let alone a town as big as Wasilla, Alaska. All of his associations and alliances are with real radicals in their chosen fields of employment, and everything we learn about him, drip by drip, is unsettling if not downright scary (Surely you have heard him speak about his idea to create and fund a mandatory civilian defense force stronger than our military for use inside our borders? No? Oh, of course. The media would never play that for you over and over and then demand he answer it. Sarah Palin's pregnant daughter and $150,000 wardrobe are more important.)

Mr. Obama's winning platform can be boiled down to one word: Change. Why?

I have never been so afraid for my country and for my children as I am now.

This man campaigned on bringing people together, something he has never, ever done in his professional life. In my assessment, Obama will divide us along philosophical lines, push us apart, and then try to realign the pieces into a new and different power structure. Change is indeed coming. And when it comes, you will never see the same nation again

And that is only the beginning..

As a serious student of history, I thought I would never come to experience what the ordinary, moral German must have felt in the mid-1930s.. In those times, the "savior" was a former smooth-talking rabble-rouser from the streets, about whom the average German knew next to nothing. What they should have known was that he was associated with groups that shouted, shoved, and pushed around people with whom they disagreed; he edged his way onto the political stage through great oratory. Conservative "losers" read it right now.

And there were the promises. Economic times were tough, people were losing jobs, and he was a great speaker. And he smiled and frowned and waved a lot. And people, even newspapers, were afraid to speak out for fear that his "brown shirts" would bully and beat them into submission. Which they did - regularly. And then, he was duly elected to office, while a full-throttled economic crisis bloomed at hand - the Great Depression. Slowly, but surely he seized the controls of government power, person by person, department by department, bureaucracy by bureaucracy. The children of German citizens were, at first, encouraged to join a Youth Movement in his name where they were taught exactly what to think. Later, they were required to do so. No Jews of course,

How did he get people on his side? He did it by promising jobs to the jobless, money to the money-less, and rewards for the military-industrial complex. He did it by indoctrinating the children, advocating gun control, health care for all, better wages, better jobs, and promising to re-instill pride once again in the country, across Europe , and across the world. He did it with a compliant media - did you know that? And he did this all in the name of justice and .... . .. change. And the people surely got what they voted for.

If you think I am exaggerating, look it up. It's all there in the history books.

So read your history books. Many people of conscience objected in 1933 and were shouted down, called names, laughed at, and ridiculed. When Winston Churchill pointed out the obvious in the late 1930s while seated in the House of Lords in England (he was not yet Prime Minister), he was booed into his seat and called a crazy troublemaker. He was right, though. And the world came to regret that he was not listened to.

Do not forget that Germany was the most educated, the most cultured country in Europe . It was full of music, art, museums, hospitals, laboratories, and universities. And yet, in less than six years (a shorter time span than just two terms of the U. S. presidency) it was rounding up its own citizens, killing others, abrogating its laws, turning children against parents, and neighbors against neighbors.. All with the best of intentions, of course. The road to Hell is paved with them.

As a practical thinker, one not overly prone to emotional decisions, I have a choice: I can either believe what t he objective pieces of evidence tell me (even if they make me cringe with disgust); I can believe what history is shouting to me from across the chasm of seven decades; or I can hope I am wrong by closing my eyes, having another latte, and ignoring what is transpiring around me.

I choose to believe the evidence. No doubt some people will scoff at me, others laugh, or think I am foolish, naive, or both. To some degree, perhaps I am. But I have never been afraid to look people in the eye and tell them exactly what I believe-and why I believe it.

I pray I am wrong. I do not think I am. Perhaps the only hope is our vote in the next elections.

David Kaiser

Jamestown, Rhode Island

United States

I pray that he is wrong too. But look at the evidence. And is he right about the army for discipline within our own borders? Hello Brown shirts... again? What did we do?

We voted for a monster... or didn't vote?

That'll teach us. I guess it serves us right. If we're too busy to get to the polls, what makes us think we have a voice after the fact? Like my family always says; "If you don't vote, you don't have the right to complain about the results".

I voted. I'm complaining. This is not what I wanted either.

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2009-09-18T16:23:00.000-07:00

Well... that's not good.

Writer's police!!! You did something wrong, so you are being rejected before I even know what the story is about!

I just found out that flashbacks in the beginning of a story are 'redflags' in the agent/publishing industry. Taboo things that when found earn an immediate no from whomever you are querying. Well there goes that chapter! The beginning of the book no less!

So I have to assume(okay, prefer to presume) that anyone who got to read those first ten-fifty pages saw it and skipped on it because of that.

Oops!

Okay, so now I get to redirect the whole beginning and find a way to tell the back story by inserting tidbits through out the immediate action. I guess it wasn't needed, but it was fun to write about. I am sad to see it go, but I have hope that this will tighten the beginning and draw the reader in quicker.

Here I go. (This will take a while....)

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2009-09-17T17:29:00.000-07:00

My Flaw...,
I am not perfect.

I have never claimed to be. In truth I think I am the black sheep of the family when it comes to the flaw that sent me to selfish tears the other day. Truly my sister, and really most of the people I know, is much better than I.

On my facebook photo page is a picture of me that is not so flattering. I am selfish, and it really bothers me to see it there; that others will see it there.

All my life I have been told by anybody not directly related to me that I am quite ugly, sometimes very hatefully, but usually it was just a fact from those around me feeling the need to express their opinions. Okay. I have learned to deal with the fact that I am not a celestial beauty on the outside.

So, my flaw is that now I want to moderate what gets around. If people must post a picture on their site, I would prefer that they do not name me as the hag next to them. When I let people(on the very rare occasion) see me, I want 'my best foot forward' out there. Gut sucked in, makeup done nice, flattering outfit, hair brushed and not thrown in a rag, etc., to name a few of the things I like to do before being seen by the judgmental masses.

To have to come to my site one day and see the horrendous creature that claims she is me posted there, I was in tears. The beast people have commented on my whole life is there in her worst state to wreak havoc on all those poor eyes that have the misfortune of beholding her.

I call my sister straightway to have it removed(vowing to keep my cool in my pleading, and insane, request), only to buckle into the torrent that wouldn't stay away at her refusal. She said the profound 'why does it matter what other people think?', but finally succumbed to the embarrassing flood of sobs from the other end of the phone line.

Indeed, I thought immediately, awed by her amazing indifference, 'why does it matter?'. I had no answer for her, only that it did. It really really mattered that the worst of the beast not be seen.

I know for a fact that most of my wonderful family have no discrepancies with pictures being posted about them not at their best. I am awed and amazed and have high respect for them. I wish, desperately wish, that I could be as nonchalant as they. That it wouldn't matter to me to be seen with that weird expression. I am envious, too. Another flaw I own up to. Indeed it would be much easier not to care, to be so sure of myself that it didn't matter what others think.

But I do care... and indeed, stupidly worry.

Thank you wonderful sister for respecting my sad, pathetic plea. I respect you, and think very highly of you for rising above what others pettily think. I warmly salute your awesomeness.

Everyone else, I am sorry for the beast on my wall. I am much prettier on the inside; if a little unsure of myself.

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2009-09-17T16:40:00.000-07:00

Someone asked what my favorite movies were while visiting with them the other day. Unprepared for the question, I actually stared at them blankly. I really had nothing to tell them as I truly did not know.

The question made me think how strange it was that I couldn't come up with a single title like that, so when I got home that night, I looked at what we had in our collection, thinking surely that if I liked a movie, I would have made sure I owned it.

After a thorough search through the small drawers and cupboard, I have narrowed the list to five. Here they are:

Pride and Prejudice with Colin Firth as Mr. Darcy. (He is my favorite actor to play this part)

Cinderella starring Lesley Ann Warren. (She does the meek thing perfectly here)

Groundhog Day with Bill Murray. (I love the idea of having all that time to perfect myself)

Galaxy Quest with Tim Allen and that guy from Monk (I actually saw him here first) and that guy from Harry Potter (Snape; and I saw him here first too). I love those two guys! High-hilarious.

Princess Bride, loved it since I was yea high.

And my very first favorite movie ever...?

The Dark Crystal, this was my first 'scary movie' I was seven and staying the night at someones house at a slumber party. Nightmares for a week until I decided I LOVED IT!!!!

Tell me what you favorite movie is. Do you have more than one?

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2009-09-16T20:37:00.000-07:00

I received an answer to my latest query today. It has been a while, yes, but I can honestly say that this agent left a very kind rejection for me. It sounded like she was answering me personally, not the many that query her en-mass.

I know by reading over seven hundred blogs that agents have it hard. They stay up late reading a very good many proposals for books that are not all good. Or, in my case, are too similar to other books she already represents. Children's authors and agents love the fictional genre of magic and other worldly creatures, and it is not prudent for an agent to have too many books with elves in them, or she will forget which is which. This is the first time I have run across this in my querying, and after looking at her site, I see what she means. The similarity may not be elves, but there are other things that are the same. I see her point, and don't take her rejection personally. In fact I am grateful for her honesty.

Often times an agent needs to feel like they 'connect' with the book they are selling. It helps them be better able to sell it for their author. And most of us want a great sale. So we humbly take the rejection, and move on politely: "Thank you for your time, I am grateful for your comment," etc.

I am still looking for the agent that will be excited for my book. Perhaps I may send out one more query tomorrow. I hope this next one enjoys the tenor of the book better, AND has no similar projects on the shelves. Though, maybe I will work on shortening the blurb... I do tend to go on and on and on.... I want it perfect.

Sitting still will not get me published. I am off!

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2009-09-16T13:25:00.000-07:00

The name of my book is Jewel Discovered. The novel is roughly 190k words and sits in a book of 731 pages. Though a tad long, it will suck you in and keep your attention so well, you will still be sad for the tale to end.

I finally got a blurb! Enjoy!

For the first time in her life, Julia has fallen in love. And for the life of her she doesn't understand why that is wrong.

Among the frigid waters of Alaska, Julia and her cousin Carey sail in the frightening storm that is not showing up on anybody's weather radar. With classes to distract them on the large liner, however, they learn that the most interesting things are happening inside the ship. Like the hibernating royals in suite 623. Hiding in their room for the last four years, no one has really seen them.

That is until they make it to their first feast in the dining hall. The gossip that had been at a lull for years, comes out in full force when the crew and guests find out that the reason they ventured out of their preferred solitude is to meet the orphaned contest winners. Julia is special, they believe, and they are going to make sure she stays that way; despite her own dislike over the five-hundred year old moldy prophecy about her. She thinks her love should be chosen personally, not picked out and demanded of by these strange beings; whatever their noble intentions to save their people. But even with her newly found gifts, Jewels wonders if she can thwart the unwanted fate thrust upon her.

Not bad, huh! Let's hope this next agent thinks so! Off I go to send it off!

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